Do you ever feel like you just want to opt-out?
As clear as yesterday, I remember the day my husband was diagnosed with cancer. And again, as if it were happening this very minute, I remember every detail from when they told me my daughter’s heart was struggling to work properly.
In both of those moments, I wanted to opt-out. I wanted to fast forward. The entire idea of what was happening was mind-numbing.
There was no option to opt-out. There was no way to escape. It was real and it was happening. The only way out was through it.
When our Governor shut down schools, and our stores started closing, I had some of the same feelings. I’m sure many people felt similarly. I looked for any way to opt-out.
These feelings can be overwhelming. At times, they are all-consuming. With social media and newscasts sharing every last detail of the pandemic, we are blasted full of information 24/7.
Looking back on our own family’s experience, this is how we got through some unexpected life challenges when we felt like we just wanted to opt-out:
- Live for today. This is not a race. You cannot see the future. You cannot get there faster if you try. In fact, looking at the whole picture can be scary and very overwhelming. Look at today, make a plan, and live for the now.
- Be aware of the worst outcome, but do not dwell on that aspect of the situation. It is important to know the worst-case scenario, but it is also important not to focus ONLY on the worst-case scenario.
- Think about the best possible outcome. It helps to know that things could end up being better than before the unexpected life circumstances.
- Talk about it. Share your fears with someone. Share your joys with someone. Communicate. You might want to choose just one or two people with whom to share your feelings. Choose people that you trust and people that can help you to manage your feelings.
- Do what you CAN do. In our health-related situations, all we could do was ask questions, follow through with medications or procedures, and trust our doctors. Here, in this pandemic, we all have a different role to play. For me, it was difficult to accept that my role is to stay home and protect my family. I found other things that I can do, like painting some old faded garden gnomes, cleaning and organizing the playroom, and jumping back into some old unfinished projects.
- Stay on top of your mental health. Call your PCP if you are feeling depressed. Obtain a counselor. Most professionals are offering video appointments right now. This is key during a time where we are being deprived of social interactions. We need to care for ourselves in order to fully care for the little ones in our lives.
How are you coping during this unexpected life experience?
