As a first time mom, one of the biggest challenges I have faced is finding my mom tribe. Okay, let’s be real here, I’d settle for a mom friend at this point never mind the whole tribe!
As a stay-at-home mom, the days can be very isolating. Not to mention, any mom needs someone who they can commiserate with, laugh with, and share all of the gross details of motherhood with that only a mom would understand. You need friends, I need friends, but for some reason making mom friends has been a struggle.
It could be all of the responsibilities we already have to our kids, our families, or our careers. There just isn’t tons of time to dedicate to building that new relationship with your could-be mom bestie. There are differences in parenting styles that may clash. And of course, just like any relationship, maybe you just don’t mesh, have anything in common, or feel comfortable with that person.
But before all of that, you actually have to find these moms to give them a chance! Easier said than done, right? I’ve tried out a few moms groups here and there. I’ve met a few moms in my area using Facebook groups or at different events in the community. I feel like I’ve put myself through many awkward conversations and number exchanges just hoping to find “the one.”
Maybe you’ve experienced the noncommittal “we should get together!”, but it never seems to happen. Or maybe you made plans, but they cancelled and you’ve never rescheduled. Or maybe you had that play date and chatted about the kids and what you do and what your husband does and so on and so on and they said they’ll call but never do.
It’s like the dating game all over. Except for this time, I’m planning play dates around nap time and feelin’ good if I get out of the house with both my hair and my teeth brushed!
This past summer, on a particularly tough morning, I decided we just needed to get out of the house. We ended up at a neighborhood park. When I pulled up, it was so busy I almost decided to skip it. But I figured we made it all the way here, there is no turning back now.
While I was pushing my daughter on the swings, this kind woman struck up a conversation with me. She ended up inviting me to the MOPS (Mother’s of Preschoolers) group she was a part of. I told her I had been looking for something like that and that I’d think about it. But I was so nervous because I didn’t know anyone or what to expect. It has turned out to be such a blessing. Because of this sweet lady and one short conversation at the park, I have met so many wonderful moms and have had so many opportunities.
I often think about this and it reminds me to put myself out there. Maybe it’s hard for you to strike up a conversation with a stranger or walk into a room full of people you don’t know, because I know it is for me. Although, just like dating, you have to take a risk and put yourself out there. The reward can be life changing.
I feel like I am slowly finding my tribe and have met some truly awesome moms. But I am still looking for that one mom who I can call up in the middle of a hard day. Who will bring her kids over to my sticky, Cheerioes covered floor and not give it a second thought. Who will come just drink coffee with me because if I have to hear “The wheels on the bus go ’round and ’round” one more time, I may just lose it!
If you are a new mom, new to the area, or just in a similar season in your life, I wanted to you to know you are not alone. Keep going on play dates or check out story time at the library and find the mom sitting in the back by herself. I’m sure if she’s there, it’s for her as much as it is for her kids. She would probably love to talk to you! And she just might be me.
Motherhood is a tough job. And if you haven’t figured it out already, it is certainly not meant to be done alone!
Let’s build our Genesee County Moms Blog Tribe together! Introduced yourself in the comments and let us know something about you! Who knows, maybe your soon-to-be mom bestie is reading this, thinking the same thing, too!
This is awesome! I am always looking for someone to get out of the house with, vent to, etc. someone who understands. I work full time and have four kids. I try to make time to go out with friends but it seems all of my friends never do the same. When I ran go out, no one else can. Lol
I feel you, Nicci! My husband and I have weird schedules in addition to having the kids’ schedules, and it’s so hard to find a time when people can make it work! We should have a big GCMB play date or mom’s night out! I would love to meet you and commiserate! 🙂
Hi Nicci! Yessss someone to vent to who just gets it! Schedules can sure be a pain, especially with 4 kids. Thanks for introducing yourself and opening up a discussion for others who might be experiencing the same things. Mom’s Night Out sounds like a great idea! I know I could sure use one!!
Hello my name is Jacquelyn but you may call me Jackie. I am 23 years old and a stay at home mom of two amazing children. I have a 3 year old son named Blake and a daughter named Ava who is 7 month old. I am also going back to school by the love and support of my awesome boyfriend of 3 years! I am from Westland MI burt my boyfriend and I bought a house our here in Fenton MI almost 2 years ago and well although I’m near none of my family (didn’t really have any friends) I kind of like it here. It’s quiet and peaceful and my son has made some new friends at school but he’s not the only one … believe it or not I’m starting to crawl out of my she’ll and try and make new friends to and ever since I was added to the Grand Blanc/ Fenton Mommy and Me Playgroup that’s been possible and I’ve met a couple amazing people. Cannot wait to meet more mom’s out there and make some wonderful memories.
Hi Jackie! I love this area, too! I don’t have any family close by either and while that can be tough we love it here. I’m glad you’ve been able to meet some new friends! It is definitely hard to put yourself out there but so worth it. That group is great 🙂 Thanks for introducing yourself and I hope we’ll be able to meet up sometime. I’m definitely thinking a big Genesee County Moms playdaye!!