Teaching a child to use the toilet is harrowing.
The accidents, the time spent in the bathroom, the smells…
Then, your child throws you a curveball.
It first happened on the little SOS potty I keep in my car for up to a year after potty training. {Because, in spite of my repeated asking of, “Do you need to potty before we leave?”, we inevitably have an “I HAVE TO GO NOW” emergency while as far from a public restroom as humanly possible.} We were pulled over on the side of the road and I was congratulating both of us on having made it in time.
She starts to whine. I look down as she says, “Mommy, my panties are wet.”
What??! We made it in time! We finally got this! We have succeeded! How are her panties wet??!
Because her urine stream, like an elegant fountain, arced straight out the front of the potty.
I did some frantic Googling of this phenomenon and found that my small human and I are not alone. Apparently, some girls’ urethras point a different way and instead of shooting down, she imitates a boy standing in front of a tree.
Help! How do I fix this??!
Don’t worry. Invasive surgery is not necessary. Your girl’s nethers should correct themselves as she grows, and eventually, she should pee like a normal female human.
Until then, I have a few tips for you:
- Just like I’ve heard for potty training boys, turn her around. Straddle the potty backward and the position should point her down.
- If you’re in a public restroom or you think that is just plain weird, have her scoot as far back on the toilet seat as possible. This isn’t easy! Small humans have short legs and those panties and leggings bunched around her ankles are now rubbing all over the outside of that potty {gross!}. We try to pull her pants down as far as possible and try not to think about the cleanliness of public toilets.
- Have Darling Daughter lean forward. Ask her to put her elbows on her knees. She might be excited to peek into the toilet and see what happens, anyway.
- Breathe. The potty breaks are long, but the years are short.
