Keep the Peace at Home with Mindful Transitions

When I am not being a mom, I am doing the teacher thing with a classroom full of super duper 5-year-olds. Some days I am flying high with my superhero cape and other days I am wondering how I will make it until the last kiddo leaves. No matter how great my lessons are, the transitions can make or break the school day {and year}. The key to a peaceful classroom is in the transitions.

Confession: I am really good at keeping it together in my classroom, but I suck at transitions at home. Is the key to a peaceful home in the transitions as well?

Guess what happens when a transition is off at home?

Our moods shift. Our focus is off. Someone gets hurt. We forget things we need and say things we shouldn’t say. More often than not, the happy moment we are leaving or heading into gets overshadowed by the transition.

This all leads to one exhausted and frustrated momma. So I thought about it. What are the transitions that seem to bring the most strife to our family life? Getting ready for school or a long day out. Coming home after school or a long day out.

How can I use my skill set where I thrive in my career to help me thrive with the people I love most?

~Be prepared ahead of time.

In my classroom, if I have a great lesson planned for math and I spend the first five minutes after sending kids to their workspace trying to find materials in my storage closet, then chances are the students are going to be very unfocused once I finally have what we need.

The same holds true for home. Staying up later or getting off the couch at night when I am already exhausted is not my idea of a good time. But 10-15 minutes of night prep can mean a heavenly morning. If lunches are mostly packed at night, clothes are picked out, and backpacks and work bags are filled, we can stay focused in the morning and fill up happy hearts while doing it.

~Set the expectation.

I have found that my almost 8-year-old daughter no longer remembers a few directions. She is in her own world and doesn’t like to be told what to do either. A visual reminder posted in each of the key areas helps her stay in control and helps me nag less. I just say, “Go check your chart,” instead of: have you brushed your teeth, grabbed your lunch, etc. She already knows the expectation of the moment.

~Stop and regroup if things aren’t going the way they should be.

Regrouping offers a great chance to model for our children how to be mindful and focused, which encourages their own life skill development. I recognize that in our rush to get out of the door mornings, I am not the only one with a bit of stress or apprehension of what the day may hold. When my daughter comes home tired after her spelling test, has a friendship issue or a hang-over from last night’s late gymnastics practice, it all affects her mood and motivation. If there are repeated meltdowns or too much feet dragging, then I stop and lean in for a good, solid hug. It’s one of her love languages and it helps reset her. It’s the same thing I do for a child in my classroom, which can prevent a domino effect impacting the rest of the students. Having the patience to stop our routine and give a little hug can stop a chain reaction of sadness in my daughter’s heart first thing in the day or late at night.

~Keep your own emotions in check.

No matter how much planning we do, things will go off course. It is important that we, as adults, utilize our own tool-kit to be calm and mindful. I admit that I have yelled at my class babies and my home baby because I am literally talking to a wall when we need to be at the library or gymnastics practice. Can someone please listen to me???!!! I know what happens when I yell and my cortisol rises. It stays elevated for a long time and I lose it over the little stuff later. One or two minutes of me breathing and practicing a little bit of self-talk saves a lifetime of words I cannot take back.

Don’t let another great day be forgotten in a troubled transition.

If I can wrangle a bunch of 5-year-olds and send them home happy, we Super Moms can most certainly conquer the “in-between” times at home with the people we love. Keep the peace, sweet mommas! We can do hard things! Keep up the good work!

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