Some time ago, I wrote a microblog reflecting my unapologetic stance on choosing my own and my family’s own needs above the approval of others. In the season of “New Year, New Me” I feel the subject should be revisited because you might need permission to “choose you.”
Are you in the midst of change in your life? Is, by my own beliefs, God requiring strength from you in an area for which you feel unprepared? Is life giving you an opportunity that feels uncomfortable and requires a lot of growth?
Sister, you are in good company.
I’m not going to tell you that this path you’ve decided to set out on is easy or that it won’t be filled with questions. Whether this is eating habits you’re trying to change or a commitment to your marriage, you’ve got this. Perhaps you’re trying to change your parenting habits, your sleep habits, or even your social media habits? Whatever it is, I’m here to say: Go.
Choose YOU!
And I don’t say that lightly, because what I’m about to tell you is sort of bad news. As much as people applaud success once it has already taken place, not many people are good at helping to support the path it takes to get there.
- The 1st time you order a salad out to eat, your friend will probably say, “Good for you.”
- The 12th time you continue to order a salad, they might say, “Aren’t you sick of salads?”
- The 20th time you order one you might hear, “Wow. I can’t believe you’re still ordering that. Don’t you get bored?”
People will unintentionally try to paint the change you are making as unworthy. But it’s not. The change you are making is completely and totally worthy. But for some reason, making changes makes other people uncomfortable and they will feel the need to question why it’s so important to you. They’ll put your choices on trial. Remember: It’s not you, it’s them.
Sometimes when they ask you questions like, “But why are you doing that?” what they are really saying is, “I wish I had the courage to do that, tell me your secret strength.” They don’t mean to misguide you or to knock you off your horse headed for the finish line. But they will.
Keep going.
As your friend from across the internet, I’m here to tell you the thing you need to hear:
You are allowed to choose you, your future, and your family’s best interests… apart from everyone {and yes I mean EVERYONE} else. You don’t need permission to make changes in your life that you feel will make you a better human, or give you or your family a better future. But in case it helps, here it is: You have permission to choose you. Even when no one else understands why.
Growing pains are uncomfortable and they aren’t always physical. In fact, some of the most profound growing pains are emotional. I completely made over my dietary lifestyle over three years ago, and the hardest part wasn’t finding new things to eat. The hardest part was getting my mind, spirit, and heart to value my change over what other people thought of my change. When I parent my children the best way I see fit, I have to do it at the peril of other’s opinions. Otherwise, what I could be saying to my children is, “This is only an important principle in your life if everyone else says it is.” When what I want them to base their life around is, “This value is important because it’s my truth.” Truth is not always the majority. In fact, it rarely is.
Following your truth requires the courage to face disbelief and doubt from others.
If you are making big changes, thinking about small changes, or doing anything in between to take baby steps towards a better life, know that you are not alone, even if you feel that you are. You are doing a good thing, even if you worry it’s not worth the effort. I promise it is. And you are strong enough to see it through… no matter what anyone else says.
