As every mom knows, mommin’ is tricky. Each of us has our own struggles, some we recognize and some we don’t.
Within the last year, I have identified one of my own struggles: I realized that I was scared to do things with just the kids and myself.
I have no idea when this happened. When it was just my firstborn and I, we would do everything together. But sometime after the second kiddo came around, I realized that I wasn’t taking my kids places alone anymore. The pandemic didn’t help my struggles either.
Maybe it was the year in quarantine that got me out of practice? Maybe it was the fact that I was now outnumbered? Who knows, but I realized that I didn’t like it.
I am a social person; I like adventure and the outdoors. So do my kiddos, so why was I letting this fear hold me back? They were missing out on so much because of my struggles. Is FOMO still a thing? Or am I too old now?
It seemed like a huge mountain to climb. The fact of the matter was, it was darn overwhelming, and frankly, it was scary.
I had all these doubts running through my head: What if they don’t listen? What if they run in different directions? What if they throw a tantrum? What if… what if… what if…? Not only did I have these doubts regarding my kiddos, but I had them about myself too. What If I can’t do this alone? What If I lose my crap? What if I forget something? These doubts overpowered everything. But I wanted to get back out there. I wanted to have fun with my boys and not be held back by my struggles.
I started small. I would take the boys with me to the grocery store in town. I swear, to the kids – who has lived a life of quarantine and daycare – the store was a magical place. Both kids had a blast, and really, it wasn’t too bad on my end either. We have now made this a “fun” weekend trip together most weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I still love a grocery pick-up, but I can’t say I never forget anything.
I built up from the grocery store to ice cream trips, from walking to the park and playing to adventures like the zoo. I didn’t do this overnight, and it took time. It took time for me to learn how my kids best responded in public situations. It took even more time to build the confidence to do something bigger, and I am still building that confidence and working on overcoming my struggles in this area.
But it did happen, eventually, over time. All it took was that first step. Soon, that mountain became a hill, and that hill became smaller and smaller.
Now the kiddos and I do everything together. Farmers market? Sure, why not. Splash pad? You bet – {bring an extra towel – I promise you won’t regret it}! Ice cream and a park play date? Absolutely.
I can’t say I have been brave enough to make an overnight trip alone, hubs always wants to come {I can’t blame him}, but maybe someday I will be brave enough. Maybe it’ll come with age, the kid’s age, not mine – well, perhaps both?
The bottom line is, I have learned it gets easier. I promise.
Now, I can take these photos and remember that I can do it. Sure, the trips might not be butterflies and rainbows every time, but the memories are still worth the ups and downs.
So, take the kids, mama. Take them for them, but take them for you too. You’re a rockstar, no matter what you do, and despite your struggles. So, you might as well make it fun!
