When we think of “decluttering” we often think of decluttering physical items. I’m sure at one point you’ve worked on decluttering your office or cleaning out the garage and I’m here to inform you that you can declutter mental items, too.
I decluttered these five items and it’s safe to say I’m a much better person because of it:
Declutter Item #1: People’s opinions of me + getting along with everyone
It’s hard not to worry about what others think of you. Like really hard. If you’re an Enneagram 3 like me, it’s even more difficult because we like to be admired by others. But, it’s important for us as humans to not deal with the stress of worrying about others’ opinions about us.
So, how do you build confidence in this area? First of all, if someone is going to give you the cold shoulder or straight out tell you they don’t like you, there’s a 99% chance they’re a negative person. No need to worry about that person because the last thing we need in our lives is negativity. Second of all, stop being so sensitive. Read that again. Years ago I would have described myself as pretty darn sensitive. I wanted to please everyone and be liked by everyone. To desensitize yourself you need to build thicker skin by decluttering negativity, focus really hard on minding your own business, and stop overthinking everything by focusing on the positive.
Declutter Item #2: Worrying about saying “no”
Add the word “no” to your vocabulary! It’s OK to say it. As moms, we don’t like to say “no” because we put too much pressure on ourselves and it can make us feel selfish. Saying “no” is very healthy and most of the time it feels pretty good saying it. Let me remind you: you don’t owe anything to anyone and it’s important to balance the time you offer to others.
Declutter Item #3: Rushing
This is when mindfulness comes into the picture. Mindfulness covers the following areas: being present, increased awareness of the situation you’re in, and not feeling overwhelmed. What does rushing do to our brains? It makes us feel overwhelmed and doesn’t allow us to enjoy the moment. So, with that said, it’s time to be more mindful. Here’s how you can improve mindfulness: adding meditation to your routine, using the 4-7-8 breathing technique when you’re feeling overwhelmed or business is taking a toll on your heart {breath in through the nose for 4 seconds, hold that breath while counting to 7, exhale through the mouth in a forceful way for 8 seconds. I like to make that 8-second breath audible for total relaxation}, and practice mindful eating. We all know we feel better when we’re not rushed. Take some deep breaths and live in the present.
Declutter Item #4: Needing to know all the answers to motherhood
Nobody has all the answers. There’s no parenting book that has all the answers. There’s no professional that has all the answers. Who has all the answers for your family and their needs? YOU!
Declutter Item #5: Waiting to accomplish longtime dreams or goals
This past summer, my family took a leap of faith to work towards our longtime dream of owning a home on some land so that we could create a small homestead. We were content but we were done waiting so we brought that dream to the forefront of our minds and made it happen. Did we encounter setbacks? Did we ever! But, here we are today building our dream home on six acres of land. And to think that all it took was a for sale sign in the front yard. The rest of the plan rolled out as it was created to do.
The frontal lobe of our brain helps us with reasoning. It makes us think about things and respond to the situation in a sensible way. My frontal lobe kicked into overdrive with the first thought of selling our house but I had to focus on the pros and not the cons. We need our frontal lobe to work but how do we listen to our reasoning without overthinking things? It’s easy, really. You remind yourself of this: you only get one life and tomorrow isn’t promised. Reach for the stars and start working towards your dreams!
Here are three things you can do today to start working towards your dreams: create a clear vision {mentally or physically with a vision board}, list out the steps of how to get there, declutter negative people from your life who aren’t supportive of your goals.
If your heart is feeling heavy in relation to any of those five mental loads, consider this permission to declutter your mind, your worries, and your fears. It won’t happen overnight. It took me three years of physically decluttering the spaces in our home to start seeing mental clarity and permission from myself to let go of these five things. Why fill your head with negative chatter?
You only get one life and it’s time to let go of what others think of you, stop worrying about saying “no”, stop rushing, stop searching for all of the answers, and stop waiting around to follow your dreams.
