I am NOT an Independent Woman and Proud of it

I am a 33-year-old, stay at home mom of three and I am dependent on others. I am not an independent woman.

I am married. I rely on my husband. I rely on him to pay the bills. I depend on him to go to work. I trust him to fix my car which, if you know us, is a never ending concern. I expect him to take care of our family. I rely on him to pick me up when I am down, dry my tears, laugh with me, and be my best friend 100% of the time. I DEPEND on someone else to live a full and enjoyable life. 

happy couple, not an independent woman

If you ask my husband, he will say the same thing. He relies on me.

He expects that I will care for our children, comfort them when they are sick, transport them where needed, and be the main parent figure while he is working. He trusts that I will keep up the house to a reasonable extent, and match his socks every once in awhile. He trusted me during his cancer fight. He depends on me to support his financial and business goals.

To say I am independent or that I don’t need anyone else would be a complete lie. When life gets hard, I need others. When life is fabulous, I need others. I am not an independent woman and you know what? That does not make me less of a woman. Personally, I am tired of being made to feel like I am less of a woman just because I rely on a man.

My husband and I have three daughters. Our oldest, knows how to do basically everything for herself. She gets dressed, can fix a quick snack, pours herself a drink {I didn’t say neatly}, etc. I am confident that if I left her home for an extended period of time, she would survive. We have and will continue to expect all of our girls to do things for themselves. If one day, they find themselves single and mastering the workforce, or married with seven kids and staying home, we will be proud of them.

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There is a common trend right now for women to say, “I don’t need anyone,” or, “I can do it on my own.” If you’ve ever called your mom for help, asked a neighbor to babysit, depended on childcare or latchkey, or called a friend to vent, you are not “doing it alone.” You need others.

Yes, independence is an amazing thing, but I will not join the trend. I will not deny my support system the credit they deserve.

3 COMMENTS

  1. I am the same way! I am also 33, live in Michigan and do the same. I am not independent at all. I need someone. I think that for every action we need an opposite one. Some are fully independent and some fully dependent and most are inbetween. It takes all sorts. Being dependent on others has always been a shame for me and not something I say to many others because of what they say about it. Thank you for your article!

  2. Thank you for this article, you hit the nail on the head! I am also a SAHM and I fully agree with every point you mentioned. Society is attempting to train women to “be independant” but that is a lie, we rely on others every day, and shouldn’t be made ashamed to do so! Thank you for speaking out and its nice to know there are others like me! 🙂

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