Do you and your spouse share a bank account? Growing up I would have never thought that a married couple would have separate bank accounts. That just didn’t make sense! Fast forward thirty years, and it’s one of the best decisions my husband and I have made.
Sean and I got married in 2007. We were 24 years old and thinking back on it now, neither of us had much life experience. We immediately set up a joint bank account. I remember feeling “super married” when we did that! Back then, I was working part-time at a high school as a paraprofessional and taking college classes. Sean was working full-time and was basically my “sugar daddy.” We rented an apartment and didn’t have many bills, so life was good. Although Sean was the breadwinner, I oversaw balancing our non-existent budget and writing checks to pay bills. Things started out smooth.
Now add in purchasing our first home. That not only came with more bills but spending lots of money on house stuff. Due to a very minimal {yeah right} amount of OCD, I was checking our bank account often. I was seeing daily charges to convenience stores which I knew was my wonderful husband purchasing energy drinks and other snacks that he “needed.” The first thing I did was discuss this with him.
He and I did not see eye to eye so he continued to spend, and I continued to complain. This pattern went on for years.
I wanted to pay our bills, have a little fun, and save money. He wanted to pay the bills then spend every other penny he made…at least that’s how it felt to me. My complaining was not well perceived and he wasn’t changing so we decided to try having separate bank accounts. By this time I had finished college, so I was making substantially more money than I had been. We discussed who would pay which bills and a plan for saving some money. The remainder of our money was ours to do with what we chose, without hearing complaints from the other one.
Now that the bills are being paid and money is being saved, I am a mostly happy camper. The only other decisions we need to make are who is buying when we go out and who is paying for groceries each week.
Sean is pretty good about buying when we go out to eat and he usually foots the bill for my fountain pop and scratch-off lotto ticket obsession. And now that nosey Nancy, AKA me, isn’t stalking the bank account, he can surprise me here and there with gifts. It’s a win, win situation that has resulted in fewer arguments.
The separate bank account method isn’t something that works for everyone. But if it works for you I ask, who’s buying?
