Balance is one of those elusive ideals we as moms would all like to find. Every day, regardless of being a stay at home mom, a working mom, and everything in between we seem to get caught up in; we moms are just looking to find a way to manage all that we carry well.
Here’s a quick guide to help you organize the chaos and busy life we confide in one another about!
1. Have A Vision
Yes, that’s right! Vision, if you want to find balance you cannot be pulled in every direction. You must sit down and carefully consider what the vision is for your life, your marriage, your kids, your work, your extracurricular activities. Without a vision, we get pulled into helping people with their visions, dreams, and purposes that are not our own. So when your friend asks will you help with this X, Y, or Z you are able to evaluate whether this is a part of what you were purposed for during your time on this earth.
2. Check Your Priorities
Typically your priorities will overlap your purpose, aka vision. They also account for the day to day behind the scenes of your purpose. For example, YOU desire to raise a healthy child. The vision is a healthy child, the road to accomplishing this goal includes diaper changes, feedings, attention, medical care, etc. It seems simple enough, but as the child grows so does their need for you to learn to balance more. I have a child who is just old enough to play travel soccer. He loves the sport, the coaches, and the teammates. But our current priorities of adoption and building 2 businesses to grow our family and finances do not allow for travel sports in this season of life. And that’s ok! One day, when our businesses are no longer infants, as well as our youngest prospective child and travel is a bit easier we will say, “YES!” Plan for seasons of yes and seasons of no. Do not feel guilty, but recognize both are fundamentally important to your family’s health. Where could you reprioritize some things pushing family needs to the forefront?
3. Schedule
Write down your plans, your hubby’s plans, your kids’ plans, and all appointments. Whether your modern and use an app that shows everyone the family schedule or simply old school and utilize a handwritten form… again I repeat WRITE IT DOWN! And by all means remember that free time to read, think, play freely and creatively are vital to children. Stop. You have 18 years or less to go at their pace, so regardless of your desires check your family vision and see if that event is really necessary for the good of you and your family.
4. Say No…Cut Out Unnecessary And Unproductive Activities And Habits
I mentioned above soccer didn’t make the cut for my oldest son, well he is not the only one missing out. I love to travel, but as my husband and I build two businesses and one ministry, while he works a regular engineering job and I raise the kids, our love for a week on the beach for just the two of us is off the table. Off the table for a few years at least, however, we did manage to stay with my parents and see a beach with our kids in tow for a few hours this spring…and it brought incredible joy to our whole bunch! Also, activities and habits currently cut: weekly card games with friends, adult recreation league sports, excessive shopping, fine jewelry, sports cars (and their speed), cigars, and excessive amounts of junk food. What habits do you have that need to go?
5. Do Not Eat The Bread Of Idleness {Even if it is gluten free!!!}
These may be some fighting words or tough love for some of you, but as my oldest goes double digits this month time is on the forefront of my mind. My vision for him when he becomes an adult is that he will be an independent, intelligent, compassionate, discerning man after God’s heart and purpose for him. For my husband and myself to invest all that we are and prepare him takes time and effort. We sit down to dinner together every night, we read, play, and walk life together. We strive to care for every aspect of our children’s mind, body, and soul. The day they move out I want them to say with vigor, thanks Dad and Mom for giving us all you are these many years. So when my phone is blowing up with business while dinner is on and we’re talking about how the Bible applies to our life, you can be sure that it’s on silent and nowhere near the table. You can be sure that when my kids are not working on independent play, I’m jumping off the swim platform holding hands while they attempt a new step of bravery. One day our kids will be moved out and we as parents will be for the most part sidelined. Today is not that day. I will rise early and be there for them until late. Like 3 am late when my five-year-old feels lonely in the middle of the night! Put down your phone, tell your friends you’ve got hard and holy work to get after, eye on the prize fellow Momma!
6. Work Hard
I think I covered that above, BUT take a moment and write a list of ways you feel burdened to give this Mommin’ thing a little more zeal.
7. Record What You Are Doing And What You Are Learning
One day, you, my friend, are going to struggle. You are going to question your vision, your purpose, your method. It’s only natural to reflect and wonder if you’re really in the right direction. Write down your highs and lows. Write down encouraging things and ways to do life better. When you write it down, you can look back and not be tricked out of the joys and lessoned learned by a faulty memory or negative thinking. And don’t forget to record the cute moments with your fam; one day when we’re old and gray these little notes will warm the heart and perhaps produce good wedding speech material!
8. Take A Rest
No matter your beliefs we all know one thing, we need rest. Whether that means a babysitter, regular date nights, an occasional getaway, locking your bathroom door while you go number 2 and putting in your earbuds… rest. We can only do for so long, we must rest and allow for refreshing so we can continue to pour into our husbands and kids. If the list above seems daunting, sit down and write out a list of those in your support system who can help you grab a rest. Maybe they make you Sunday Night Supper or fold clothes with you and gab regularly. Look for friends who can swap kids with you for date nights. No matter what, YOU cannot serve and love well when empty.
9. Repeat
That’s right precious Momma, repeat. Seasons come and seasons go. What worked today, this week, this month, this year will change as you and your family change and grow over the years. We start only to begin again in a new season as kids grow and change. And if we’re being honest Momma, you and me… we’re growing and changing too.
In this season, where are you headin’ and how will you balance it all?
