I was there for kindergarten roundup, parent meetings, bought all the supplies on the “needed” and “nice to have” lists, attended the open house, and meet the teacher. I was ready to have my firstborn begin kindergarten and I was ready to be the best mom I could be. I was ready to volunteer by handing out pizza kits at fundraiser night and popsicles at the spring fun run.
While at the open house, I bought the school T-shirt for spirit days and proudly marched over to the PTA table and signed up to attend the first meeting. Later that night, while organizing all of the new paperwork {more than what we needed to get a mortgage!} and I looked at the PTA schedule. Uh-oh. My plans to be on the board were already not working out. I had an evening work event that first night. Hmmm…
How could I volunteer to be involved if I couldn’t even attend the meeting? As I began trying to adjust my schedule and message the PTA contact, my hubby looked at me and said, “What is wrong?” I replied by explaining the stressful situation of not being able to make it to the first meeting.
How could make it work? I needed to help the school and all the kindergarteners!
He began to laugh. Yes, my uber supportive and encouraging hubby began to laugh at me. I was clearly offended at the fact he was not taking her school and supporting our first child seriously.
“Jenna, you cannot do it all.” {For the record, this is a line he says to me often, so he was prepared with it.} “You cannot work full time, do the blog, plus everything else, while also volunteering for the PTA, let alone be on the board. Dear, there are other ways to support.”
I was crushed. I mean crushed. He just rained on my parade and blew my dreams out of the water. Well not dreams, but expectations of myself as a kindergarten mom.
You see when I had kids, I knew I wanted to continue to work on my career. I enjoy what I do. In fact, I love what I do and am thankful being a mom is also a wonderful part of my life. I fought all the mom guilt while our girls were in daycare by thinking I am still a good mom, just wait until they get to school. I will show everyone a working mom can do just as much as a stay-at-home-mom. The PTA would be my way of showing my daughter, the school, and all the doubters I can still work and be a mom 100% of the time.
But in the end, my level-headed husband was right. He is the calm to my crazy, the rational to my irrational, and he knew how to help guide me through this latest hurdle. He reminded me that PTA and volunteering for weekly in-person classroom support was not the only way to help. Just like he was there to support me when we first took our girls to daycare at 11-weeks-old, he was there to support me as I searched for balance again.
I became proactive with my communication to the teacher. I let her know I work full-time, but with notice, I can change my schedule to be at a daytime event or arrange for a grandparent to be there to cheer on our daughter. I asked what else we could do to support her class.
- We have been able to make donations to the snack closet shared by all students for daily snacks and make donations to class parties in the form of paper goods.
- When the holiday season came, I was able to reach out and get the party dates in advance for each school so I could attend or have a grandparent attend.
- We continue to stay in contact through the school messenger system, the teacher’s note home, and also the school newsletter.
I am here to tell you – working mom – it is ok! Your children love you. They know you love them. Volunteering for every parent involvement board does not make a difference to them. Invest in your kiddo, read the newsletter, ask them questions about daily specials, and show up in the classroom when/if you can. But above all else, please don’t beat yourself up or run yourself ragged trying to do it all.
