Don’t Sweat Storytime, It’s Not For Every Kid

I’ll admit it. I don’t read to my kids nearly as much as I should. I can blame their lack of interest as much as my own. Reading to little kids is tedious and time-consuming. It’s even worse when they lack the wherewithal to sit still and pay attention.

But all the experts recommend reading to little ones early and often. The benefits include expanded vocabulary, improved concentration and empathy, developed imagination, and higher achievement in school. When my kids were little, I sweat the statistics hard. I felt that by not reading to my kids regularly, I was failing them by not allowing them to achieve their fullest scholastic and emotional potential.

It quickly became a painstaking task that I didn’t enjoy at all. I thought if they didn’t like being read to at home, maybe they’d enjoy storytime at Barnes & Noble. Are you even a parent if you haven’t braved storytime before your kid is old enough know what’s going on? But that’s what you’re there for. To show them the ropes and get them used to sitting still in hopes that someday your kids will be like the rest of the kids sitting nicely in the circle, captivated by the 89-year-old lady reading to them about wonky donkeys.

But it was every bit the disaster I feared it would be bringing two toddlers to a crowded bookstore full of distractions. My kids danced on the story platform, knocked books from the shelves, leveled displays and we never returned. I optimistically took them to the local library for storytime later that year. One of my kids actually knocked the story lady’s table over. Humiliated, I grabbed my kids and raced out of the building, robbing her of the chance to snap our pics and hang them by the door, banning us forever. I took them to playgroups at the school where they unsurprisingly refused to participate in circle time. Time and again, I drug my kids out of these organized events, one under each arm surfboard style with my head hung in shame.

Feeling very defeated, I called my veteran mom friend who gave me the most brilliant insight. When I asked her why all the kids at storytime sat and listened but mine, she put it simply, “Because those are the few magical unicorn kids who are able to sit and listen. The moms of kids who can’t, don’t go to storytime.“

To me, this was profound. Why on earth was I driving myself nuts trying to force this experience for my kids when they wanted nothing to do with it as toddlers? So we stopped going to storytime and I took my kids to the park instead where they could burn off energy in an appropriate setting. Once they started preschool, I was thrilled to discover their budding love of books and newfound ability to pay attention. I no longer force the issue, but I read to them every single time they asked me.

Once my friend’s little mind-blowing nugget of truth really set in, I let it filter into every other aspect of parenting. If something continuously fails for my family even though it seems to work for everyone else, even if the experts recommend it, I’m saving myself the frustration and not doing it.

Bedtime, snack time and screen time certainly look a little unconventional at my house {according to the “experts”}, but our system works for us. We quit soccer when my then 3-year-old seemed more interested in excavating the turf than kicking the ball even though the others seemed to get the hang of it. We’ve declined birthday party invitations at bowling alleys, missed family parties at homes with swimming pools or no childproofing, and avoided movie theaters like the plague. I know what my kids are and are not capable of and that’s what we base our decisions on.

What works for some families, isn’t always going to work for mine. And the moment I accepted that truth, life became just a little easier for me.