Let me start off by saying how much I LOVE getting together with fellow moms and women and just chatting. Chatting about kids, husbands, hobbies, food, you name it. But as much fun as that is, the desperate need that I had for one true friend became very obvious once I was deep into motherhood.
{Now mind you, “deep” is only 4 years. My oldest is almost 4, and I have three other children after her.}
When I started having kids, it was so fun to almost always have something funny to share, and have something in common with just about every other new mom. Whether you joke about putting your dirty socks in the refrigerator thanks to sleep deprivation, or the woes of nursing, and postpartum body – someone always understands. But as my children grew, I started having bigger stories to tell, bigger fears as a mother, bigger messes. Things I don’t always find humorous, much less want to share with a group of women.
That’s when I realized I needed to open up and be vulnerable and allow myself to have true friendships. Real relationships that engage in the deep, the icky… the truth. The every day meltdowns we as mothers can experience. And not from our children, I mean our own meltdowns!!
I’ve never been good at opening up, and sharing my mind and my heart. You can ask just about anyone. I like keeping it light. But motherhood changes you in a lot of ways. It’s made me more brave in a sense. And while it’s still hard for me sometimes to share the honest struggles, the reward is friendships that really have value. Friendships that allow you to release all of those things we try to hide from everyone else. And you’re also allowing those friends to feel the same way. To know the comfort that you truly care about what they’re going through, and that you’ve probably felt the same feelings!
So whether it’s that mom you really click with at your daughter’s dance class, or church, or play group, challenge yourself to be open and honest. Don’t just joke about your need for coffee and wine. Talk about the real struggles, the real fears, and don’t be afraid to get deep with people.
I guarantee you won’t regret it, and you just may get a great friend out of it!!
