The #metoo movement is up for discussion this afternoon on #MidMiMB. Our Contributor Jessica shares her perspective and puts out a call to action to parents to educate the upcoming generation about boundaries and the rules of consent. As with all posts on potentially controversial topics, we respect all opinions and ask that everyone play nice in the sandbox {aka on our social media platform) ?
You may not know this, but the ‘me too’ movement was first created back in 2006 by a New York activist who simply typed ‘me too’ when replying to a 13-year-old who had confided in her about experiencing sexual assault. Tarana Burke‘s commitment to change the course was launched on MySpace, long before the era of powerful hashtags.
“The movement is about people owning their truth and releasing the shame associated with sexual violence. That is not a NEW concept. What’s new is that there is some accountability now.” ~Tarana Burke
That’s where actress Alyssa Milano comes in. Eleven years later, in October 2017, her simple use of #MeToo in a tweet fueled the movement to spread like wildfire on social media. She gave survivors a platform. A voice. An instant support network. She sent it during the fall of high-profile Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein, exposed as a long-time predator of women in the entertainment industry.
Sadly, that’s just one scandal that has dominated headlines recently. Larry Nassar {former U.S.A. Gymnastics doctor}, Jerry Sandusky {former Penn State defensive coordinator} and now Bill Cosby {beloved actor and comedian} all stand convicted of unthinkable allegations. These widely-publicized cases are hard to watch, difficult to imagine, and painful to hear… but SO necessary, even CRITICAL. A massive list of fears cultivated by the current rape culture keeps victims silent, but not anymore. They’re feeling a new surge of empowerment and it’s a beautiful thing.
As parents, we play a major role in this. We need to make sure our children grow up in a future much more respectful of boundaries and the rules of consent. We need to demand that society no longer caters to the abusers, but instead supports the survivors at all cost. There is no excuse for violating a person against their wishes, no excuse for letting imagined sexual privilege continue to harm and no excuse for accusations to be swept under the rug because it’s the easier option.
Time’s up.
As a woman, I feel relieved this long overdue shift in mindset has finally gained momentum.
As a mother, I feel hopeful that my daughter will benefit from the cultural changes inspired by the collective agreement that enough is enough.
As a survivor, I am still too nervous to share my own story, despite encouragement to speak my truth from others who now feel brave enough to tell their deepest, darkest secrets.
That’s why this is so hard. That’s why this is so important.
As I watch the #MeToo movement play out, I can’t help but think of the impact it will have on our children. It’s inevitable that one day, our sons and daughters will likely encounter someone who compromises their most sacred sense of self; someone who will pressure them into making a choice. “Will I let this happen out of a fear of consequence, shame or judgment?” or “Will I speak up, fight back and refuse to let anyone get away with such degrading, criminal behavior.” Victims and predators come in all ages, shapes, sizes, genders, and backgrounds. Yes, males can be victims too. It’s an issue that knows no boundaries, which is why we ALL need to play a role in making sure it STOPS HAPPENING.
Our sons and daughters NEED to know a few things:
- no means no… end of story
- your body, your choice… no matter what
- your clothing choice is not an invitation, you are not an object
- speak up, always… even if doing so feels scary or you fear judgment
- if you feel uncomfortable, stop or make it stop – you don’t owe anyone, anything
- alcohol consumption or substance abuse of any sort is not an excuse, nor is it an open door
- denial shouldn’t impact your pride, instead choose respect
- you are worth it, especially when that voice in your head tells you otherwise
Bottom line: NO ONE should be victimized. The trauma of that experience lasts a lifetime and will forever damage your thoughts, experiences, and perceptions going forward. Together we can teach our children the right way to act, the honest way to approach a relationship and the red flags to watch out for to make sure the #MeToo movement creates a better future for all.
If you are a victim or know someone who is… please, encourage them to come forward. There is help. I stand with you. We believe you.
- National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
- National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline: 1-800-331-8453
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
- National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-800-373-7888
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
How are you talking to your kids about consent and/or the #metoo movement?
