During my first pregnancy, I could probably tell you how many weeks and days pregnant I was. I wrote in my pregnancy journal obsessively and could not wait for the days to fly by so we could meet our baby. During my second pregnancy, I generally knew how pregnant I was, and wrote sporadically in my pregnancy journal, but there were many unknowns that robbed joy from that pregnancy like how was I going to watch a toddler and an infant at the same time?!
They say the “third time’s a charm,” and for me, that seems true. This third pregnancy has been totally different than the other two, in a great way. Here are 4 reasons why:
- I do not have to be massively pregnant all summer: My first two were September babies {I had the same due date for them – 2 years apart!} which meant I spent the entire, humid, sweltering summer approximately the size of a school bus. I waddled around in striped maternity sundresses that looked like circus tents, sweat like it was my job, watched in horror as my feet swelled so much I could barely shove those bricks into flip flops, and sometimes needed ice cream so badly that tears were involved. Plus, I gave birth at the worst time – the first weekend of the school year {my husband is a teacher… if only I could have had those babies any other time in the summer, right?!} This time around, it’s a whole new ballgame. While I was queasy all summer and couldn’t have a beer at summer barbecues, facing the first trimester instead of the third in the summer felt like a cakewalk. I am due in January and can’t wait to take a picture this fall with a pumpkin next to my round belly, to happily wear maternity pants at Thanksgiving dinner, and use my internal oven to keep me cozy during the upcoming winter months.
- Aches and pains don’t cause me as much anxiety: During my first pregnancy, every twinge was interpreted by me to mean disaster. Was that headache indicative of pre-eclampsia? Was that pain in my chest a blood clot? If I was dizzy, did that mean there was something wrong with the baby?! And don’t even get me started on round ligament pain… that really had me in a tizzy. The second time around, these concerns had already lessened, so by the third time around? No sweat. Pregnancy helps you learn to listen to your body in a way nothing else can, so when I got a positive pregnancy test for #3, I knew what my body was likely to feel. I knew what was “normal” for me. There is a peace that comes with knowing what to expect, which has made this pregnancy a much calmer experience.
20 weeks pregnant with #3! - I know I will get big and I know I can lose most of the weight: I am a tall, curvy woman to start with and during my first pregnancy I gained 40 pounds. I thought I’d be one of those people that lost the baby weight effortlessly, but it turns out my body really “holds on” to weight while breastfeeding. My post-baby self can lose weight, it just happens at a slower rate than in college and requires double the attention. Through efforts to eat better, get enough sleep, and incorporate more movement into my day, I got down to within 10 pounds of my pre-baby weight before #2 and did the same thing before #3. It’s never very comfortable for me to watch the scale climb as the trimesters flip by, especially knowing how much effort it took to get the number low, but I know I’ve lost the weight before and I can do it again. I know that breastfeeding and sleep deprivation work together to keep weight on my frame, but I’ve also learned how to eat and move to maintain milk supply and usher in {slow!} weight loss. Plus, that weight I’m gaining? It’s a new soul that I’m growing, not an overblown Cheetos addiction. It is a gift to be able to carry a baby, even if it means carrying extra pounds.
Days away from delivering #2 – worrying that I could never love a baby as much as I loved my girl! - I know I have enough love for our new addition: As the arrival of baby #2 approached, I was terrified! I was excited to be a mother again, but I had a deep dread that I would never be able to love another child as much as I loved my daughter. I shouldn’t have worried so much. The second they put my son on my chest, it was like what happens The Grinch when his heart grows three sizes instantaneously. It was effortless. I just loved him infinitely because he was my son. His birth proved to me that new babies don’t subtract from, but instead multiply the love in a family. I can’t wait to see the love grow as we go from a family of four to a family of five! You have enough love to go around for all your children and all the members of your family – I promise.
Babies are a blessing, no matter when or how they happen. I am grateful for this pregnancy and all of the confidence that comes with doing something major for the third time. Though recently a mom of NINE told me that taking care of three kids was the hardest for her {and polls seem to confirm that!} Please send me coffee come January! The ease of being pregnant for the third time has been a delightful surprise. If you are a mom of two and are on the fence about #3, I’d encourage you to give three a try! It just might amaze you.
