Women have been pregnant since the beginning of time…literally. Regardless of whether you believe everyone came from Adam and Eve or from early men and women during the Paleolithic era, we can agree pregnant women are not a new thing. So why bring this up?
I recently announced that I was pregnant to my friends and family on social media and I was so surprised at the comments I received immediately after. “Was this pregnancy planned?” “Wow, you wasted no time in the baby-making department.” And, “I don’t know how to talk to a pregnant woman, but (grabs my shoulders) I hope you’re okay.”
Maybe I am a little spoiled in growing up around children from babysitting and teaching kindergarteners in high school to celebrating friends having children in college. I was told by multiple people to not worry about children because that will come later…what if it doesn’t though?
If people realized how many women cannot get pregnant, maybe they would choose their words more carefully. If people knew the emotional and physical pain women go through while pregnant, maybe they would choose their words more carefully. It has not been easy y’all, so stop making unnecessary comments.
But what if I have never like NEVER known anyone to be pregnant? Well, you can start with a few tips:
1) Instead of asking whether the pregnancy was planned, just congratulate the mom-to-be! No, my pregnancy wasn’t planned, but that’s not your business. Also, there are women who have complications, miscarriages, trouble getting pregnant, and asking this question can bring up a lot of pain for the mom-to-be.
2) Instead of making unnecessary comments about how quickly one got pregnant, just congratulate the mom-to-be! Okay, so many problems with this. I did not get pregnant quickly. Nobody gets pregnant ‘quickly’. Yes, a man and woman have to have sex to get pregnant, but there are so many other moving parts that are necessary for pregnancy to occur.
3) If you don’t know what to say to a pregnant woman, just be kind! I don’t expect everyone to know the right thing to say, but being kind will never be the wrong thing. That’s it. Just like you would ask a sick person if they’re alright, ask a pregnant woman if we are alright. Most of the time we’re probably not, but we may not admit that. Be a friend, ask if there is anything you can help with or if they need anything.