There’s the old mentality when it comes to parents – that the previous generation had it so easy – and for the most part, yes, I think I can agree with that. However, parenting doesn’t really change all that much. Let me try to explain.
Three Kids In Three Years
I had three babies just inside of three years. To say it was chaotic on some days, would be an understatement. But, most days we just sailed through with a few waves here and there. Yes, all three kids are different, as they should be. But treatment should be similar. One of the biggest lessons I learned is to say what you mean and mean what you say. If you threaten to hold back ice cream, hold back the ice cream! Kids learn very quickly if you’re going to be a pushover. I can’t imagine that would be different for any generation of kids. Except, now, there is this instant gratification mentality – the why should I do that for you? what’s in it for me? way of thinking. In my view, this mentality is extremely selfish, and something you should not teach your children. Trust me, they learn right out of the birth canal who’s in charge.
Yes, kids are hard, especially those little adults we call toddlers. They are the smartest little people on the planet and will challenge you on the days when you’re not up for the task. I realize now how much I learned from them. How patient I could be. How much flexing I was willing to do {some days more than others}.
But 98% of the time, I stood my ground, and eventually, they just knew if mom said no, she meant it. There doesn’t always have to be a discussion, sometimes you just have to tell them this is the way it is and we’re not talking about it.
As a parent, I made so many mistakes and owned them when I did. It’s okay, it really is. Owning your mistakes takes the power away from said mistake. Your kids will watch and learn. A little bit of humility, disappointment, and embarrassment goes a long way when it comes to the littles in our lives.
Everything isn’t always unicorns and rainbows. Yes – let your children fall down, let them fail, let them experience life that isn’t perfect every day. This is how they learn to live, learn to be productive, learn to be secure, and learn to help others. It teaches compassion. When we as a people learn to own our failures, weaknesses, and mistakes, we grow in ways we don’t even understand. So will our children, they are little sponges and watching and listening when you don’t think they are.
Today, parents seem to be hell-bent on being their kid’s best friends. Really, why? You should have your own best friends. I don’t know about you, but I’m not discussing my private life with my kids, it’s none of their business. It’s okay if you don’t know everything about your kids too. I was witness to many parents trying to be their kid’s best friends and, in my experience, it’s not a good thing while they are growing up. Kids need to figure out life and how it works for them. As adult children, my kids are more like friends to me now; but I will always be their parent in my heart, and, yes, I will still teach when I feel the need.
Gina Franciosi – “Aunt Gina” – is a guest writer and mom of three. She shares her real talk, tried, and true, experienced tips on parenting for Mid-Michigan Moms.
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