Seeing a counselor shouldn’t be a dirty secret.
I’ve always been an anxious and nervous person. Since I can remember, whether it was playing sports in school, having a test coming up, job interviews, hanging out with new people- all of these things made/make me anxious. Some things are pretty typical but many things that I get anxious about today are so silly, and honestly, are not worth the worry. It’s always been an issue for me, but in the past few years it has gotten worse and I couldn’t be happier I see a counselor.
After I had my first child, I had postpartum anxiety {surprise, surprise}. I decided that for me to be the best mom that I could be, I would go on a small dose of medication and it was the best decision for me at that time. I became pregnant again a few months after my baby’s first birthday but lost the baby around 11 weeks. Needless to say, I didn’t handle this well. I decided a couple months after the miscarriage that I needed some help. I wasn’t able to work through this on my own and it wasn’t going to get any better without making some changes. I began seeing a counselor and she helped me with it all. Not only with dealing with the miscarriage, but with all of life’s tough stuff. Kids, marriage, school, family, you name it, I talked about it.
Fast forward to when we finally were able to add another child to our family. My first baby was almost three-years-old when our second was born. I immediately went on a low dose of medication after I delivered and felt great after my pregnancy. So, a few months later, I decided to go off the meds. When my youngest turned one, the anxiety was back in full force. It was hard to deal. Everything was overwhelming. So, I began counseling, yet again, and am still going to this day.
Reasons That I Got Help
- I had family and friends to talk to, but it just wasn’t working. Everyone has their opinions on things and everyone copes differently to situations in life. In my case, the miscarriage wasn’t an easy thing to let go of {not that it should be}. It was affecting my daily life and the relationships that I had. I needed someone on the outside to talk to and to figure it out on my own.
- I needed to be there for my family. If I wasn’t in a healthy place, mentally, I couldn’t be the best wife and mommy.
- When I say everything was overwhelming, I mean EVERYTHING. From taking care of the kids to cooking, cleaning, and trying to take care of myself. I never felt like I was getting anywhere. I felt like I had so much to get done and that would paralyze me. I was hyper-focused on these things that needed to get done but weren’t as important as spending time with the kids, playing, or doing things for me.
- Sometimes you can’t say what you really want to when you’re talking to friends or family. When you’re talking to an outside source, I feel that I can say whatever and not be judged or make anyone upset for what I’m saying. It’s easier for me and, thankfully, I’ve found a great person to talk to who lets me speak my mind, but is also honest with me. She helps me to look at things from different perspectives, which then allows me to process it in a different {normally better and more positive} way.
- I really felt alone in so many different ways. I didn’t want to regret missing out on my children’s lives because I wasn’t in a good place myself.
I really look forward to seeing my counselor. I usually go every other week. This seems to be the perfect amount of time to go between sessions without allowing things to become too overwhelming and being able to vent about whatever the past two weeks have thrown at me. The topics have really evolved since I began and it has helped me in all aspects of my life. The tough stuff, the kid stuff, marriage stuff, and mostly with allowing me to find myself and help me to figure out what I want most out of life.
I, honestly, have become a happier person since reaching out and starting counseling and it is a breath of fresh air almost every time that I leave my session. I really do think that I will continue with counseling for a while. It just makes me feel better, leaves me a little less anxious, and helps me to cope.
What helps you cope with your anxiety?
