Everyone is so impressed with the Olympics.
Sure, ice dancing is nice and the ski jumps are great, but has anyone seen a mom simultaneously make dinner, do dishes and break up a fight all at the same time, without losing her mind?
Now that is medal-worthy.
Which leads me to this – if parenting was an Olympic event, which category would you medal in?
Olympic Speed Laundry – Washing, drying, and putting away the laundry in one day.- The Lego Leap – Navigating through a treacherous, toy-filled room without stepping on a Lego or being injured by a similarly small but incredibly painful toy.
- Artistic Gymnastics – Often done while trying to keep yourself from crashing into the wall or hitting the ground after failing the Lego Leap.
- Olympic Hoop Jumping – Jumping through hoops to get your kids to eat what you fixed them for dinner.
- Clean Sweep – Sweeping the kitchen floor without anyone walking through the pile {bonus points if they don’t try to save a purposefully swept up toy you’re hoping to discretely discard.}
- Olympic Sock Match – Usually done as part of Speed Laundry when desperately trying to find the matches to 56 billion socks. {Seriously – what happens to them?!}
- Wrestling – Trying to get your kids dressed and ready for school and/or bed.
- Evening Triathlon – Getting your kids to finish their homework, eat dinner and take a bath before bedtime.
- Morning Triathlon – Getting your kids to finish the incomplete homework from the failed Evening Triathlon, eat breakfast, and into the car/on the bus for an on-time school arrival.
- The Great Load/Unload – Usually performed twice a day and includes loading all children and necessary items {backpacks, winter gear, lunches} into the car for school drop-off and removed at the end of the day after school pick-up.
- Olympic Toy Toss – Tossing all the toys in the correct bins on the first try, from across the room.
- Calendar Curling – Scheduling and executing all necessary doctors’ appointments, extracurricular activities, and other time-bound commitments as close to, but not past the due dates.
- Speed Reading – When you expertly speed read – skipping unnecessary words and pages in an effort to expedite bedtime. The key to this one is to make sure the speed reading is not detected.
- Freestyle Clean Up – Usually the event separating you from bed. Involves scurrying around the house without much rhyme or reason – emptying lunches and backpacks, hanging up winter gear, picking up random clothes and dishes, getting distracted and wandering into another room before you remember what you were doing, wiping off tables and/or throwing out 47 pieces of school “artwork” – all done in a desperate final act to achieve a restful night’s sleep before the next morning’s events start.
- What’s Missing – This is a fun game no one actually wants to play, but most do. Usually done after completing the Freestyle Clean Up and before falling asleep where mom brains start going through all the daily tasks/responsibilities to make sure everything was done and try to figure out what day it is to ensure everything is ready for tomorrow.
While I participate in many of these “Olympic” events on a regular basis, I medal in none. Well, maybe in the Great Load/Unload – as a mom of twin preschoolers the number of bags that go to school on Monday and come home on Thursday is epic.
So, what Mom Olympics events are you medaling in? Or what events did I miss?
