I believe in all relationships people have expectations in different ways. Sometimes when those expectations aren’t met, feelings are hurt. My feelings are hurt when I continuously give, and people take to no end; the relationship is based on what I can do for them. When some people realize that your nature is to help others and you are dependable, they take advantage of you. What I learned is that you must categorize the people in your life. Some relationships are meant to endure trials and others are meant to be temporary. It’s important not to be bitter when those relationships don’t work out. We expect our relationships to work, yet when we force them they become stressful, draining, and hurtful.
The “joy” of balancing relationships.
We can’t put all of the blame on other people. Sometimes signals are mixed on what type of relationship it is. We also can’t expect people to be the same type of friend or family member to us, that we are to them. Being that we all have different personalities, we can’t expect everyone to have the same ideas regarding family and friendship. Realistic expectations are knowing your kids may not appreciate a clean house and dinner cooked, your friend may not call you back because she was busy, and your favorite couple can’t hang out because they have other plans. All these things are within reason. There may be days that you have taken your friend soup while she was sick and she didn’t return the favor, you may have treated a family member to dinner and they’ve never done the same, you may have listened to a friend cry and helped her through her problems but she wasn’t around when you needed a shoulder. These situations may hurt your feelings and although you do things out of kindness, you anticipate the same when needed.
As women, I think we sometimes define ourselves by the relationships we have instead of the person we are. We need to appreciate ourselves first.
So, where does that land us? In a mixed bag of emotions! This is where I’ve landed too. I have to be happy with me! No matter what relationships I encounter, I must determine the role each person plays in my life. I want to embrace giving, loving, sharing and doing it all with no regrets. That’s the type of person I am and I can’t expect anyone to be the same. At the same time, it’s important to know and set your limits. If you decide the answer is “no” don’t feel bad. Don’t overextend yourself. Be confident enough to walk away in situations if you don’t feel valued. You matter. Learn to value your own company. Learn who you are, what you like, the energy you are willing to give and the energy you want in your life. Change the way you think, be positive and continue to be the best version of yourself!
