March is Women’s History Month inspiring us to reflect on the great strides made in women’s rights and the incredible, life-altering contributions of each headstrong, passionate woman who didn’t let glass ceilings or two-letter words stop her from making waves.
There are countless ways to celebrate such influences, but we’re going to have a little fun with it by rewinding all the way back to the early 1800s, decades before the Women’s Rights Movement of the mid-19th century. That’s right ladies, in anticipation of the steamy return of Bridgerton, we’re diving into Regency-era fashion, relationships, sex, and self-care.
Oh my, how far we’ve come…
We asked our own Mid-Michigan Moms contributors to talk candidly about the show, the portrayal of women, marriage advice, and finding worth outside of gender roles and expectations. What follows is a modern twist on some big topics—and a perfect conversation starter during your next girl’s night out.
Bridgerton, inspired by Julia Quinn’s romance series, follows each high-society sibling during their drama-laden journey to find love and acceptance, follow their dreams, and break barriers. The female characters are all front and center, embracing their admirable strengths, revealing their relatable imperfections, and fighting for their rightful place alongside men. What’s not to love? Let’s dig in!
Stunning Fashion
Before we get to the juicy stuff, we’d be crazy not to first give a nod to the incredible costumes.
“They’re so elaborate, beautiful, and elegant!”
We feel a little dreamy thinking about their colorful closets and social calendars.
“The dresses, the parties, the elegance of it all!”
Women’s Rights
Our Gen X/Millennial contributors are thankful we’ve evolved in every way possible, including sexual freedom, more choices, and even having a better grasp of family planning, but say the work is far from over.
“Tremendous advancements! We can do so much more now, but we still need to work hard at maintaining equality.”
“I’m so glad I wasn’t a woman during that time. The idea that your sole purpose is to marry and have children feels very oppressive. And don’t even get me started on ‘feminine sensibilities.’ We still have a way to go with women’s rights, but I love that we have a voice today.”
Let’s Talk About Sex
Let’s Talk About SexMost of us remember suffering through an awkward conversation about the birds and the bees. If that didn’t happen at home, middle school gifted us a bland sex-ed class complete with immature teenagers, unsettling banana demos, and a push toward abstinence being the superior choice.
“My sex education was explained via a VHS tape that I watched with my mom in the room. I understood and was fascinated by the biology of child-making but didn’t understand what else happened besides the basic mechanics of having sex.”
“I feel it’s something you have to experience on your own.”
And it does, usually led by timid curiosity. Daphne Bridgerton is all of us when she explores the light-headed capabilities of her body under the weight of those fancy ruffles. Ultimately, she lets natural desire lead the way after her marriage to Simon, the sexy Duke of Hastings. Talk about steamy! But, I think it’s safe to say, many of us only wish our first time was that epic. Yikes.
“My view of all of this was so warped, growing up in a Catholic school environment. I wish sex was less associated with shame and ‘stay away from it until marriage,’ and more associated with love and a celebration of love.”
With This Ring
Women’s rights in 1813 were severely lacking. Upon marriage, the husband and wife were essentially treated as one entity. Under coverture, the woman’s already minimal separate legal existence disappeared. That meant no property ownership, no ability to vote, and no legal rights to children. They were discouraged from working outside the home, earned far less than men if they did, and were, therefore, dependent on their spouses.
But as you know, well-behaved women rarely make history.
Fast forward to 2022 with major advancements in achieving equality, support of same-sex unions, divorce rights, etc., and marriage is still a popular path. While it may be easier to make different decisions now, it doesn’t make embracing marriage any less challenging.
“Everything will change after marriage! It is beautiful and amazing, but it is also really hard. I wish I knew more about in-laws and how terrible they could be before marriage.”
“Everything changes after you have kids. You cannot fully explain it or prepare for it, but just knowing that everything will shift a bit would have been a helpful tidbit to know.”
Inevitable Drama
Lady Whistledown sees all, exposing rocky relationships, scandalous behavior, and moral quandaries. We all navigate tough seasons, but thankfully there isn’t a gossip column about it (unless you count social media). When asked about advice for common marital struggles, the most frequent answer was communication. But there’s always more to the story…
“My husband does not have to tell me everything, but we communicate our issues, then we work on a solution to grow and move forward together.”
“Never go to bed angry.”
“Be honest, hold one another accountable for each of your actions, commit to one another wholly, make each feel special and important.”
“Communication. Therapy. Admitting that you are wrong. Compromise and PICKING YOUR BATTLES! Focus on the good and the positive and weigh how much you think the negative is worth addressing. If the negative is a large problem, don’t shy away from tackling it and working through it, especially if your relationship is worth saving.”
“Talk through it, validate the other person’s feelings and work to a middle point.”
Red Light Special
The Duke & Duchess sure keep it hot! In the rain, on the lawn, on a ladder, on the stairs, PHEW. Someone might need to call a chiropractor because we’re taking notes and our new sexy time bucket list requires some serious athleticism and skill. Let’s start with keeping the spark alive:
“Drop small hints about later in the night, text pictures of new undergarments.”
“Spontaneous places! Sexy outfits and shoes!”
It’s all about feeling confident in the moment and paying attention to the little things.
“Learn each other’s love languages and focus on that! It takes two people to make a good relationship, so make sure you focus on your own love language and your partner’s.”
“Being the one to take the initiative, being confident in myself in that time knowing my spouse is not seeing all the insecurities I’m having.”
Future Success
Future SuccessIf marriage is your preferred 21st-century journey, what else is essential to building a sustainable partnership that is happy, fun, and loving?
“Alone time is essential. Even if it’s just having dinner or watching a movie without kids.”
- Always dating
- Back rubs
- Not taking everything super seriously
- Laughing together
- Being able to express your happiness or dissatisfaction
- Facing problems head-on and learning together from them
- Being a team all around, especially in raising your kids
“Finding things to do together—walks, movies, breweries, games, anything other than always adulting and parenting. You have to enjoy being with each other and not just held together by the kids.”
Embracing Self-Care
Life is about so much more than conquering motherhood and maintaining marital bliss. It’s about experiences, travel, learning new things, nurturing relationships with family and friends, etc.
“We cannot change the world and help others grow if we are not growing. We cannot find peace if we are not at peace. It is important to remember while helping others is incredible and helps the world go around, you are valuable too. Make your life important and focus on you.”
“Make yourself number one. If you are not mentally, physically, socially, emotionally healthy, your relationships and family cannot thrive.”
“It’s tricky, but it’s important to find at least one thing that is yours and yours alone. Whatever time you can devote to that each day or even week, make sure to do so.”
In this modern world, where our village is stronger and more expansive than ever, it’s important to take advantage of opportunities to shine as a woman. Do it for all the women who came before us who had a heck of a time leaving their mark and for all the women of future generations who have yet to begin.
