It all started at my cousin’s house. We were gathered around the dinner table when someone casually asked, “What was your rose and thorn today?”
My kids looked up, puzzled.
A rose? A thorn?
Then my cousin explained:
“Your rose is the best part of your day. Your thorn is the hard or the bad part of your day.”
She quickly added that the the game wasn’t hers. It came from a friend who called it the best parenting advice she’d ever received. With teenagers of her own, she said it gave her a way to connect without being that mom who won’t stop asking questions. No interrogations. No forced conversation. Just a natural, easy way to check in.
And so—we tried it.
One by one, we took turns sharing. At first, it felt a little silly. But then something shifted.
Instead of the usual: “How was your day?”
“Fine.”
“Good.”
Everyone started actually talking.
They shared stories from recess and art class. Adults told stories from work or from their own friendships. The kids told us who made them laugh, who made them nervous, what made them proud, and what left them feeling small. They opened up in a way I hadn’t seen before.
It cracked the door open—and kept it open—for deeper conversation.
Now, Rose & Thorn is our thing. We play it every night: around the dinner table, in the car, at restaurants, even during the bedtime routine. My kids actually request to play it. Our neighbors have started doing it. Friends who hear us try it for themselves.
And the best part? It works.
Roses are easy to share—everyone loves a chance to talk about the highlight of their day. But it’s the thorns where the real magic happens. Those moments give kids (and adults!) a gentle, non-intimidating way to express what was hard.
No pressure. No deep “serious talks.”
Just a simple space to say, “This part of my day was rough.”
We don’t rush through answers. We listen. We laugh. Sometimes we just say, “Yeah, that does sound hard.” And honestly? That’s usually enough.
And as an added twist, my cousin Cam—who is the ultimate “Rose & Thorn Master”—added a new twist: “What’s your bud?”
A bud is something you’re looking forward to.
A birthday party, pancakes for breakfast, the weekend, a playdate—whatever brings joy and hope for tomorrow.
It’s the perfect way to end the game.
If you’re a parent tired of the “How was your day?” dead ends, give Rose & Thorn a try. It might be the ultimate parenting gem you didn’t know you needed—passed from one parent to another, like all the best advice is.
You may be surprised by what your kids share.
