Yes, suck it up. Which means that I am also putting out this warning! This post will not placate your feelings about being cooped up with your family.
Just like we give our children tough love, I am here as your virtual friend to give you some honest feedback.
Seriously. You are your child’s first teacher. And I am not talking academics. I am speaking of character.
I know the memes are funny. Coffee to wine by 9 am. Kids locked out as a fire drill. Saving the world by sitting around on Netflix.
I get it. A worldwide pandemic with our nation in quarantine is not what we signed up for. But if you have a family in your home, you signed up to be a role model.
Let’s backtrack…
I think of every hurdle I have had to face as an adult woman. I have gotten really honest and vulnerable with myself on my weaknesses and how they hold me back in life. I know exactly where they stem from in childhood and we can save that for another post. But here they are…
Victim mentality. Control issues. Fear. Shame. Apathy. Laziness. Anger.
Can you relate? If so, keep reading.
These are habits I learned as a young child on how to overcome obstacles. They were modeled and developed in certain circumstances and they served a purpose then. But as an adult, even when something was seemingly positive, but hard, these are the habits I accessed to forge ahead.
It left a destructive wake behind me in my relationships and for myself as I pushed ahead in adulthood.
I have had to work VERY HARD to form different habits of character to grapple with challenges. Because breaking bad habits becomes harder the longer we utilize them.
I’ve been tirelessly working on self-development.
Strength. Empathy. Courage. Logic. Routine. Perspective. Vulnerability. Joy. Grace. Grit
When I waiver from this I can easily fall into my old habits. But my daughter is watching me every day. What do I want her to learn from this time where we have control over very little and everything seems laden with fear or frustration?
She still has purpose each day. Her dreams matter. She needs to get up and tackle what she can control. Her schoolwork. Her bedroom. Her contribution to family. I need to teach her to access her joy and channel strength.
I want her to know that she is a strong, capable human and a woman who was made to change this world. {But I have to know that about myself too.}
It’s my job to guide her through heavy emotions and actions that don’t help her mental health or our family. That means I have to suck it up also and do that for myself.
The current pandemic is a huge obstacle for all of us. We can all feel fearful and angry right now. We can all feel bored and irritated and restricted. We are all experiencing life in different levels of stress and there is no wrong feeling. Ever.
But feelings are just signals. They are not meant to be lived in. So moms, visit with your bad habits and negative feelings but stop living there. Suck it up, and let’s start modeling the strength we want our children to have as adults.
Shift ahead 20 years. All of us as parents want to see that our children reached their goals and are living out their dreams. YOU are the one to teach that.
- Set the technology boundaries for yourself and your children. Get off of social media. You will become what you consume.
- Engage with your family in joyful ways.
- Don’t lower your expectations for how you and your kids show up each day in your home. Keep them high, but shift them for the new norm.
- Goal set and have purpose for your week as individuals and as a family. Don’t throw in the towel when it gets hard.
- Persevere! Don’t be afraid to reach out for mental or physical help during this time.
Let’s stop modeling coping strategies for our feelings and start modeling habits of character for success.
Give yourself a moment of grace. Gather yourself. Get your grit. Suck it up.
Your children are watching. YOU can do hard things!
**Families, if you are in need of anything during this time, please reach out on our social pages and we will do our best to assist you in finding the community resources necessary to help you show up well for your family.
