The rain was dripping down the windows and everyone’s moods matched the gray and dreary weather outside. We all woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day, the umpteenth crisis-schooling day, and seemed unable to shake the grumpy attitudes and shortness with each other.
I realized that while all of my children made it to their respective Zoom meetings with their teachers, I hadn’t yet made anyone do a lick of schoolwork that day, and it was nearing night time. One had a writing assignment to finish, one was supposed to turn in a social studies task, and another wasn’t finished with their daily math work. I was trying to send emails and make phone calls myself, everyone kept needing food, children were bickering, no one could play outside because of the weather, and I was just at my tipping point when one of our dogs jumped at the edge of the kitchen table, knocked over a glass, and before I knew it I literally found myself crying over spilled milk.
Was I cut out for all of the multi-tasking and time-management that homeschooling – crisis-schooling – required? Was I doing enough to make sure my kids were prepared for this distance learning business? Was I being effective in my own profession while performing it remotely?
Oh, and did I mention that I myself am an elementary teacher and have experience teaching at all of the grade levels my own children are currently in?
You might think these doubts wouldn’t come my way. You might think I would be better equipped than some to handle the demands of homeschooling. And sure, I can teach a lesson on fractions or character traits, and I can write a morning message on our little art easel, but if you think this distance learning comes easily for all of us teachers who are also parents ourselves, you’d be thinking erroneously.
It’s hard. If you think so too, I’m here to tell you, we are not doing it wrong. It’s that difficult. Here’s my motto and my biggest tip as a parent in this season: remember to breathe. There is no precedent for this. We have never as an entire nation engaged in crisis-schooling before, as we are now.
There are bound to be bumps and hiccups and maybe some heavy sobs over spilled milk or missed Zoom calls along the way. You are still your child’s first and best teacher. You’ve got this. We’ve got this. Deep breaths.
What we are doing now is not the same as traditional homeschooling, where families have researched and gone through much thoughtful consideration as to whether or not this would be the best fit for their family. Traditional homeschooling involves a conscious decision, not a sudden announcement late one Thursday night in March that schools will be closed the next day for, well, the rest of the school year whether you were prepared for it or not {and none of us were prepared for it}.
From one mom to another, and with the perspective as a teacher who is educating students just like the ones in your house right now, let me say again, we must remember to breathe through this season of crisis-schooling. It will all be okay, and the kids will be alright. Just take it one day at a time. And sometimes, when it seems too heavy to take it one day at a time, slow it down and go moment by moment instead if you need to.
I have learned, during this season of distance learning, that along with remembering to breathe, there are two other key must-dos on a regular basis.
First, give yourself permission to make mistakes and heap loads of grace and forgiveness on yourself when they happen. There might come a time when that third-grade math homework looks Greek to you. It’s okay. There might come a time when a file gets deleted or something won’t upload, or you help your child log into the wrong thing at the wrong time. It’s okay. You are human and all of this is new and wonky. Forgive yourself. Remember that none of us are perfect.
Also, give yourself permission to celebrate your successes when things go well. There might come a time when you help your child practice sight words or help them edit an essay and it goes so smooth it feels like butter. Cherish that moment. Hold it close. There might come a time when your child asks you for help on a math problem and you knock it out of the park with your guidance and a light bulb goes off in their head and they just get it after that. Cherish that too. That’s magic. When those moments happen, call a friend, share the news, and celebrate.
Remember that day I talked about earlier, the one where everything seemed to go wrong? I almost forgot about how fun it was to have a Billy Joel dance party that night when my daughter and I made dinner together. Or how comforting it was to have my son snuggle against me as I read him Harry Potter that night before bed. Or how deep I belly-laughed at my other son’s insanely cheesy joke he told me when he woke up that day, as if he dreamed about it and kept it at the front of his brain until he opened his eyes.
Parents, for all of us, there will be frustrations with crisis-schooling, but there will be a lot of good too. Your homework assignment from now until the end of this school year is to honor those frustrations, cherish the good, and breathe through it all.
