The holidays are hard.
Not everyone has a picture perfect family situation.
Every other year my daughter spends every other holiday with her dad. It is heartbreaking for me. I do my best to hold it together but it’s awful.
My daughter’s father and I often fight about time during the holidays. It is unfair no matter what. There is always something to miss on both ends. Shared custody makes the holidays super difficult.
There is more than just shared custody and family dynamics that cause a struggle during the holiday season, and I wish I could take all the troubles away so everyone could enjoy the holidays.
I can barely write about friends and family I know who are battling cancer. How hard can the holidays be wondering if this may be your last with that person? I hurt for you.
The holidays cause a lot of people financial strain, myself included. Not to say I do not love buying gifts, it is more about the stress of affording them and making people feel appreciated with the amount of giving. I would hate to give someone a candle and they gave a cashmere sweater.
The holidays are hard for people who miss someone close to them. They may be far away due to work or military. The saddest being when they went to heaven. Holidays are hard missing someone. Remembering them together helps. If you are missing someone this holiday season help your friends and family keep their memory alive. Do one of their favorite traditions or maybe give a gift to the needy or random act of kindness in their memory.
Some people do not have a ‘home’ to go to for the holidays. Some do not have good relationships with their parents. Some people live far away from their family and cannot go home. So, so hard.
Being single for the holidays is difficult. I was single for Christmas when my daughter was young. She asked me where my presents from Santa were and as moms we are expected to have all of our stuff together, always. That is not realistic. When we are suffering as mothers we have to put on a brave face for our littles and that we do.
It probably does not help being an ‘off year’ for having my kiddo home. We do Thanksgiving/Christmas and the other person gets Christmas Eve. It’s terrible when it’s an off year. Of course the “holidays” are not just the day of, but it’s still hard when the most important little person to me in the world is not with me.
And if you’re like me and feel like your having a super bah humbug season just know you are not alone. This time of year can be grueling but you do not have to be sad. Make plans, help others, just be present. Sometimes putting yourself out there and showing up can help the pain you are going through during this season.
Be extra kind as you do not always know who may have a hard time during the holidays. Check in on them, make plans when you know they may need it. Even listening to them vent does wonders. Just be there for them.
