Do you ever log into Facebook and instantly get bombarded with posts and pictures of moms and their children on fun outings with other moms and their children? I know I do. My newsfeed is cluttered with other moms and their “tribes” doing fun things; whether it’s playdates, MNO, double dates with their husbands, etc. And I have to admit, I’m jealous. I long for the type of friendship where I’m included in all of those things.
I try so hard to fit in. Despite being an introvert, I try to put myself out there. I’ve joined several moms groups to try and make friends with other moms and yet, for some reason, I still can’t find my place with them. I want to be able to call on someone when my kids are driving me nuts, to call a friend when I feel like I’m failing at this whole “mom thing,” to have a friend that calls to invite me out just because, or to ask that I join in on playdates. I crave the connection with a fellow mom, the kind where we know we 100 percent have each other’s backs; a friendship where we mutually love each other’s children just like our own.
I know what it’s like to feel alone, to feel left out, to go through sleepless nights without a mom friend to commiserate with, to go through PPD without the help of a friend. I know the feeling of raw vulnerability. I know the feeling of rejection after you try so hard to make those connections and it doesn’t work. I know the feeling of sadness that comes from scrolling through your newsfeed seeing these groups of women having fun together, creating memories with their tribe, and knowing you don’t have that. So to all those moms who feel those things, too… I got you.
I wish I could tell you that the longing for those things eventually subsides, but it doesn’t; at least it hasn’t for me. But, I can tell you that it makes the people you can turn to {whether it’s your spouse, your parents, a sibling, a cousin, etc.} so much more special. You appreciate and love the relationships you do have in your life and you draw strength from them. The best part is knowing that those people will always have your back and they love you just as much. I am fortunate enough to have a great support system in my family and also from an online moms group that I joined six years ago when I got pregnant with my first son. So maybe you don’t need a {real life} mom tribe, maybe those who have been there all along are the only people you need to make up your tribe.
Do you have a tribe? If so, who do you count on? If not, do you long for one??
