There Are No Absolutes In Parenting, It’s Complicated

Parenting, oh boy is it ever complicated. From the moment you learn you’re pregnant or are expecting a child by any means, your mind goes into overdrive trying to brace for the unknown by being as prepared as possible. You read all the blogs, pin all the pins, and dig your feet in on the big issues in hopes of setting yourself up for success. Most of us have the best intentions, but somewhere along the line, we build expectations of what it will look like or what kind of parent we will be. Sticking to that vision when reality sets in is another story. Perfection is simply not possible. Ideals are good to have, but there are always exceptions and room for growth. The quicker you realize that, the easier it will be to parent in a world of curve balls, blow-outs, judgmental eyes, and mood swings.

parenting
Photo by NIKOLAY OSMACHKO from Pexels

I will never plan my life around a sleep schedule.

I didn’t fully understand why some of my friends did this. I thought it was weird and annoying. Then a tiny human entered our world and I quickly realized how valuable sleep was and how critical naps were… now I get it! It’s called keeping your sanity intact by any means necessary. That whole “sleep when the baby sleeps thing is still up for serious debate.

I will always feel the joy in every moment of motherhood.

Poop in the bathtub? On the wall? In the carpet? No thanks. Projectile vomit as you walk out the door? Ugh. Endless colic-induced crying, bedtime temper tantrums, emotional angst… HELP! This is why we have the #momtribe {and wine}. Soak in all the joy, yes, but don’t feel guilty if you need to walk away or sob in the shower. Sometimes, it’s just not fun or cute in the least. That’s just life.

I will never use formula/I will never breastfeed.

You will ultimately decide what you’re most comfortable with. After all, #fedisbest. There is no sense in pressuring yourself to fit into a mold either way. Who cares what anyone thinks? You do you, momma. Keep that baby happy and healthy. Whip them out or shake it up, don’t stress. 

I will always make sure veggies are part of every meal/day.

Yes, of course, a well-balanced meal is ideal, but if your child is on a weird bender and refuses to eat anything but macaroni & cheese and cereal, you’ll likely be so tired of arguing you’ll let it happen. Tomorrow is a new day. Trust me, you won’t be the first mom to Google: How to hide veggies in food.

I will never stop dating my husband after children.

You shouldn’t, but you probably will. At least for a little while. New parent exhaustion is real. Trusting someone with childcare can be tough. You’ll know when you’re ready and when the time comes, drop them off and RUN! Date nights are necessary, refreshing and a great reminder of why you’re on this wild ride together. Make a commitment to nourish your marriage and your family will be better for it. 

I will always trust my instincts.

This is the goal because your instincts are a powerful tool in motherhood {and life}, but you will likely question every choice and doubt every decision until you recalibrate and get your bearings. Having a baby essentially means everything as you know it gets thrown into a blender to make the ultimate WTF smoothie. You’ve got this. Take a deep breath. Remember, you know your child better than anyone else.

I will never raise my voice.

The amount of sleep you get, how many times you have to say something, or the number of times a request has been ignored is directly proportional to the level on your patience meter. You’ll try to remain calm. You’ll count to 10. You’ll remind yourself “this too shall pass” but sometimes you might lose your sh*t. We’ve all been there. Parenting is hard. #momtruth

I will always lead by example.

I hope we all do this most of the time, but we are human so mistakes will be made. Own up to them, talk about it and show that you also work through your own decisions and are constantly evolving just like they are. Kids will relate to that more than you might realize. Keep showing up day after day, even after the storms that will inevitably come, and you’ll be greatly rewarded.

I will never let my child have sugar.

This is noble and if you can do it, I fully support you because too many sweets turn children into wild monsters. Moderation is key, know their limits and set boundaries. {Parenting hack: Dilute juice or lemonade with lots of water, they’ll never know.}

I will always follow screen time rules.

You might be able to stick to this quite admirably at home, but all rules go out the window when you’re on a 10-hour road trip or when you’ve got a 2-hour layover at the airport. All the movies and games, please! Just shhhhhh…

I will never put my kid on a backpack leash.

I have yet to resort to this, but after having a toddler in crowded places, I totally get it. You could be the best mother in the world and turn your head for two seconds to peek into a Target dollar bin and POOF your kid is gone. It’s terrifying. They’re like little ninjas, so try not to judge {at least not too much}.

Bottom line, give yourself some grace and flexibility. Parenting takes you on a long, winding road full of incredible experiences, ups and downs, and the greatest love you’ll ever know. You will NEVER regret it and you will ALWAYS be grateful for the joy children bring to your life. Unless of course, they become serial killers… there’s probably a support group for that.

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Jessica lives in Grand Blanc with her husband and their smart, sweet, sassy daughter who shines as their one and only. Jessica thrived on the adrenaline rush of local TV news for 15+ years as a weeknight producer before leaping into a new career, mid-pandemic. She now works from home as a content specialist for a national early education and child care company and finally knows the true meaning of work-life balance. She’s a positive, sarcastic, margarita-loving momma who embraces creative challenges, adventure, and personal growth. Date nights, dog walks, friend time, and DIY projects are her favorite forms of self-care.

1 COMMENT

  1. So true; all of it!! Instruction booklet NOT included…. Great article Jessica! Thanks for sharing.

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