Pardon Me, I’m Trying To Raise My Kid So You Will Actually Like Her

It keeps happening. I am trying to do all of the things research says to do to help my children grow into healthy, productive adults, yet some other person becomes irritated and impatient with me. I say nothing, but I want to say, “Pardon me, but I am trying to raise my kid so you will actually like her.” 

This winter while we were skiing, I let my 7-year-old go down the stairs in the lodge by herself in her ski boots. It took her some time as she navigated each stair, but she accomplished it. Some hurried people behind us mumbled about how I should just pick her up and get it done a lot faster.

Last week, I let her put the cart away in the Target parking lot. Someone was waiting to pull into the space nearby while my sweet girl pushed the cart all the way in so it wasn’t hanging out of the corral. I complimented her on the fact that she was aware and thinking of others. The person in the car threw her hands up, irritated that she had to wait just a few more seconds for my daughter to secure the cart.

This week, she helped me pick out some produce during our only trip to the store that wasn’t just for the grocery pick-up line. I spent some time explaining to her what to look for in the cucumbers and avocados. I showed her how to press the cantaloupe and smell for just the subtle hint of melon to know it will be perfect to slice when we get home. She needed to practice on a few too many, but she was learning. And of course, there was a hurried human following the same exact path as we were, going through the produce section sighing a bit too loudly to express her irritation that I was interrupting her schedule.

It’s a tad ironic if you ask me.

I hear all the time how kids are lazy. Kids are obsessed with technology. Kids can’t do anything for themselves anymore. Parents aren’t raising independent kids. Kids are so impatient and demanding. So here I am trying to instill a version of life skills in the limited amount of time I have when my child is not at school. This is somehow frustrating to the adults in the world around us. Teach kids to be patient and productive… but hurry up. 

I get it. I am in a hurry too.

I rush through life way more than I should and sadly I push my sweet girl at a pace that she is not quite ready for. But for every fast-forward moment I have rushed my child through with mom guilt, I have somehow remembered to stop and be in the moment the same amount of times.

It is these moments when I know I am doing a good job as a mom. It’s the slow-poke, smell the cantaloupe moments when I know my child is going to be ok. It’s the, “great job! I knew you could do it!” moments where I kept my hands and my mental timer off. In those moments, my child adds another layer of foundation to become that adult that we are all so worried our children won’t become, in the midst of a world that is so different from the one we grew up in.

Life is short, but that doesn’t mean we have to be in such a hurry. If for some reason you get stuck behind me with my sweet and spicy 7-year-old ninja of joy, pardon me. I am trying to raise her not just so you will like her, but so that she is confident, capable, and likes herself too!