All birth stories are different, yet incredible. When a birth story pops up on social media I can’t help but read it. No matter how a baby enters this world all birth stories are a clear proclamation of how amazing and unique a woman’s body is. During my pregnancy, I pictured having a picture perfect labor and delivery similar to some birth stories and photos I’ve seen on social media. Photos of women glowing and looking beautiful after delivering their baby. I wasn’t picturing an easy experience for my first child, but a simple, energized, glowing, medication free, labor and delivery.
Today I’m excited to share the not so picture perfect birth story of our daughter, why I planned for a medication-free labor, and why we chose to have a personal gender reveal on the day baby arrived!
It was the middle of the week and I felt in my heart something was going to happen soon. I talked my friend into going out for Chinese choosing a spicy dish to enjoy. My fingers were crossed this old wives’ tale would work for me!
Later that evening I thought my water was leaking as something trickled down my leg. I got ready, curled my hair, preparing to look my best. Hilarious, right? May I add that most days you’ll find me makeup free, with dry shampooed hair, yet confident. I think those pictures I saw on social media of women with fresh hair and makeup post delivery had gone to my head.
Maybe my spicy dinner had gone to my head because after a trip to triage we found out it was not leaking, but I was 3cm dilated so we walked around the hospital. I dilated to a 3.5-4 and I decided to leave so I could get through early labor at home. Mild contractions and cramping kept me awake for most of the night.
The next day my contractions started to get more intense. At about 5:00pm my pain increased and I was tired after little sleep. I called the doctor’s office and the nurse recommended we come in. Once we arrived to triage I had only progressed to 4 cm dilated. That was a palm to face moment! The pain was getting more intense so I hopped into a jacuzzi tub. It was won-der-ful. The tub and I became one. Then we walked. Well, my husband, Tyler, walked and I waddled. The hot tub and the walk did it! I hit the 5cm mark and was admitted. Hallelujah! At about 10:00pm we were escorted to our room, met Sarah, our nurse, and settled in. Tyler made the necessary phone calls and sent out some text messages. It was go-time! My parents arrived and stayed at the hospital for the evening.
That evening everything was lovely. I enjoyed some raspberry Italian ice popsicles and was comfortable. I was sweat free, my hair was still curled, and I felt amazing. We would soon have a sweet, little baby. We were so anxious to find out if we would have a son or daughter. I was hoping that excitement would get me through each push during delivery. There aren’t many surprises in life and this long-awaited surprise was a moment I knew I’d cherish. Within a couple of hours, the Doctor came to my room to discuss options to help progress labor. The doctor broke my water. I dilated a bit more, but things moved slowly.
After laboring through the night I had an intrauterine pressure catheter inserted to measure the strength of my contractions. I felt as though they were strong enough, but they weren’t getting the job done. Unfortunately, they were too weak which was why baby wasn’t moving down at a good rate. So we moved on to the final option. Pitocin. Something I didn’t want. My birth plan from the get-go was a non-medicated labor and delivery, but I needed something to help move things along for a healthy labor.
The Pitocin kicked my butt. I was weak and felt discouraged. I asked Tyler for an epidural when contractions got to be too much. I asked him like he could give it to me. My body had no more to give. Tyler and Sarah encouraged me and reminded me of how I shared that my heart was set on laboring pain med free. Before this moment of pain and exhaustion, I shared with Tyler that I didn’t want to know what it felt like to have no control over my lower extremity. I wanted to feel what my body was made to do. With Tyler’s encouragement, I stuck with my plan knowing it had already been changed when I agreed to Pitocin.
Eventually, things progressed! At this point, I started to get irritated with the catheter. I wanted it out and I made that very clear to my nurse in the kindest way possible. From there I literally rocked it out. On the birth ball, in the rocking chair, standing up. I went through every birthing position possible. I was a mess. My body was sweaty, my butt was hanging out of my gown, and I didn’t care who saw it. Tyler was my coach through it all. A little before 7am I started feeling the urge to push.
Sarah checked me and I was at a 9. It only took a few minutes and it was time.
“You’re at a 10!” she said.
All of a sudden I felt a big rush of energy. “I am? Ok, I’m ready to push!”
Sarah says, “Oh wait, maybe a 9.5.”
“No, you can’t take it back!” I yell!
She let me give a little push and helped move that 1/2 inch of cervix over.
“Alright! You’re a 10!”
It was time to meet our baby! Sarah went to notify my parents. They stopped in the room briefly, then left. My Mom snuck back in about a minute later even though Tyler and I shared we didn’t want family in the room during delivery. But, she wanted to see this baby being born and I wasn’t going to stop her at that point. I started to push about 10 minutes after 7am. It was the end of Sarah’s shift, but she stayed. She was an angel! Sarah paged the Doctor and led me through my first 10 minutes of pushing. Then in walks this sweet, little, blonde Doctor who come to find out used to be a cheerleader for U of M. She was my personal cheerleader cheering me on.
By 7:50am it was all over. “It’s a girl!” Tyler said with full eyes. They plopped her on me all wet and slippery. She cried, Tyler cried, my Mom cried, I cried {I mean I’m crying right now!}. It was a moment I’ll never forget. Allowing my Mom to watch her first grandchild being born was a gift she expressed much gratitude for. I’m glad she was there. I ask Tyler, “Jade. Can we name her Jade?” He smiled and said, “Yes!”
And just like that, it was over. The pain was gone and I had this sweet, tiny baby girl laying on my chest. Tyler was a saint through it all. I couldn’t have done it without him. He held my hand, made me laugh and danced with me through the tough moments. We were all exhausted.
Even though my birth story did not go as planned, and I didn’t deliver our daughter while glowing with freshly curled hair, I love our story. These days I think us women find ourselves having conversations about how we compare ourselves to others because of what we see on social media. I challenge you to stop doing this and to not compare your birth story to any others.
No matter how your labor and delivery story went you should love yours the most!
