Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like your child is doing everything you don’t want them to? Whether it’s taking a brother’s toy, or slapping someone for no reason, you are at your wit’s end on what to do. They’re just having a bad day and can’t snap out of it. It’s the life of toddlers. They have ups and downs just like everyone else.
But have YOU ever had one of those down days that are hard to snap out of? I know I’ve had my fair share. Whether it’s sleep deprivation, poor diet {the most likely cause}, or literally the only response you can muster up. It’s just bad. You’re angry and you don’t know why. You’re irritated. You long for quiet and compliance. Why can’t they just listen to what you say?! I MUST BE LOUDER! We all know that helps nothing.
On days that I just can’t snap out of it – the days when I’m just as moody as my toddlers – I remind myself that they’re watching me through the good and bad. I’m setting an example no matter what. I can either choose to give in to the anger and flip out, get loud, then feel terrible. Or I can choose to embrace those times when I WANT to flip, and instead, let them see a real person with feelings just like them.
We tell our children “use your words”, but do WE always use our words? I know I don’t. I use my volume and my facial expressions to try and intimidate them into listening. It never works, and I feel like a failure within minutes. But when I use my words, I can say “I’m getting upset and I need you to hear me. I don’t want to yell, and I don’t want to get angry.” And they respond so differently. Does this happen every time? Absolutely not. I give in to my emotions so often. But do you know what I do immediately after? I hug them, and I say I’m sorry. I tell them I was wrong for behaving that way and that I need some time to calm down. And they understand! They can relate!
I’m not writing all of this to make it seem like I know all the answers to mommy’s anger. When it strikes, and we all know it does, it’s a tough battle. It feels so good to give in sometimes. But as a parent, I need my children to know that I’m not perfect, but I respect them enough to let them know I’m wrong. That I acted out, and I’m sorry.
Children are so quick to forgive, aren’t they? Some days I feel so undeserving of that. But I also try to learn from it. And those days that THEY can’t snap out of the bad mood, I want to extend that grace and lovingly guide them through it.
