Mom guilt. We all have it, I’m sure. I am not sure when it happened or how it happened but when did some of us moms start negotiating with our husbands to watch OUR children? The first step is admitting you have a problem – and here I am admitting mine. I can’t seem to push the guilt aside.
Placing a Burden On My Husband
I have this giant inner anxiety of leaving my child with someone else – like I am causing a giant burden on them. And I especially do it with my husband. That is a problem. But, why? I have no idea. Maybe it’s my wiring, or maybe something about being “the mom.” Moms, you know exactly what I’m talking about – you want to just go to the bathroom alone and the next thing you know, you’re talking about tractors and doing your business at the same time. I swear, the house could be burning down around us with my dog and her horrible ear-piercing bark alerting the troops, and my husband, well, he doesn’t even pick his head up from reading the paper. Why can’t I just take a second for myself? This is a problem.
He goes for fishing for a week or plays volleyball at the bar with his friends and does he ask me for permission? Am I ok 9 months pregnant chasing after the wild child? Nope. Does he come home and say you’ve been with him all night, so tomorrow he’ll do the bedtime routine? Nope. So, why do I as a mother, feel obligated to negotiate when I do anything. My goodness, I don’t even go the grocery store for OUR family without negotiating {with no one but myself} that I’ll be gone for only an hour. It’s so weird and just typing that makes me question, “What in the hell am I doing?”
Why is is so hard for moms to do something for themselves without feeling guilty?
I can’t even make it through a pedicure without texting updates – “almost done,” “be there shortly.” HELLO?! Relaxxxx. It’s his child too. THEY’RE FINE. What, as mothers, makes us feel like it’s our sole responsibility to handle the kids? Given this whole post looks like I’m running the bus over my husband, which by no means is my intent. He’s a wonderful dad. He doesn’t haggle with me over time, he doesn’t care when I leave the house. He loves being a dad. So, why do I make it a point to do so? I mean, let’s be honest here, in all reality, he is the smart one. If he was offering to go grocery shopping for us, then came back and let me do whatever I wanted as a trade off, I’d be stupid not to roll with that arrangement. It’s a win-win.
So again, what is up with the bargaining for equal parenting? It’s like a BS rule some of us mothers came up with on our own. I can’t be the only one here who does this, right?
I guess it’s time to change my ways and no longer negotiate time away for myself. n order to take good care of your family, you also need to take good care of yourself. Note to self: when baby #2 shows up, DO NOT FORGET that.
Do you have a habit as a mom you wish you could change? Or something you always feel guilty about but know you shouldn’t?
