Lately, I find myself battling with the phrase, “I’m tired.” My trigger was during a week when my toddler was cutting her back teeth, like ALL of them. All week long we were building on getting up four times a night to every hour. Suddenly I was back to those first couple of newborn weeks and dreading bedtime.
This was my reality and that week is when I seemed to have conversations with all my friends and started hearing the phrase “I’m tired” on repeat.
It almost felt like a competition – who was the MOST tired?! Whose reality was the most challenging and gave them the right to be more tired than the rest of us?!
All you mamas out there are probably laugh {crying} at this point! I think most of us recognized that deciding to become a parent meant giving up on sleep for a huge chunk of our lives. But acknowledging that you’re going to lose sleep is much different than actually losing it. And I for one don’t think it ever gets easier.
So what was my problem and why was I suddenly hating on other people saying how tired they were? Because we all are! I’m tired. You’re tired. WE’RE ALL exhausted! And it isn’t a competition. There are no winners of sleep deprivation.
The last year has been hard and we’re mostly still living that hard. It has drained us all and so we ARE all tired. Hearing people say it over and over suddenly made me hyperaware of saying it myself. Did it solve anything by telling other people I was tired? Definitely not. Did it make me feel better? Not really. If anything, the expression was becoming a filler phrase. No different than “um” or “ya know”.
I started to stop myself from saying it. I started getting aggravated by other people saying it. But then I asked myself an important question – what did my friends need in telling me they were tired? When I was facing exhausting days after sleepless nights, what was I as a mama hoping to hear if I told someone I was tired?
Grace. Compassion. Gratitude. Encouragement. Prayer. Coffee. Help. All of the above. Above all, I wanted somebody to acknowledge my effort and struggle. I wanted somebody to let me know they saw me and recognized how difficult being a mama, in particular, is, especially during these pandemic days. To tell me I was doing good and to keep going.
Dwelling on how tired we all are isn’t going to change it. Ignoring how we’re feeling and never talking about it is also not always the best answer. So I’m striving for a balance. Asking my friends what they need when they say it to me. Following up by telling someone I’m tired by asking for what I need.
Feel it. Acknowledge it. Move on. Thank you, next.
