Coordinating sit-down family meals can be a grueling task! Many times over the years I whined and complained. But let me tell you looking back it was so worth it! I am a true believer in sit down meals as a family. Today they are few and far between and I miss them tremendously.
It’s not always easy in today’s world of busy schedules finding the time to get everybody sitting down together. For me, I didn’t always have the discipline to plan ahead. Kudos to all you meal prep peeps! I would often find myself the evening of, staring into my cupboards and into my refrigerator too tired to make a decision about anything much less a chore like dinner. Not only was figuring out what to make for dinner and finding the time to do so a task in itself but knowing that no matter what meal I made one of my children was going to sit down and say “Eww, what’s that” or “you know I don’t like that”. I’ve never been the mom to make separate meals per child; if I took the time and effort to make a home cooked meal that’s what they were eating. I’m a mean mom like that! There are literally about three to five meals I can cook that everyone in my house enjoys, with no complaints. But I can tell you I certainly was not cooking the same meals every single week. I want to enjoy the dinner too! As my kids got older and I got more experienced, I enjoyed cooking. I worked at making our dinner time a little less redundant. I tried new recipes {thank you Pinterest}, and I made cooking more fun! Sometimes my new recipes were a hit with the family…sometimes, not so much.
Looking back, dinner time could be maddening, I would ask myself “what’s the point?” The point was NOT how great my food was! Lord knows my family wasn’t going to be talking about how awesome the dinner mom made yesterday was. But, they just might be thinking about a memory that was made, laughs that were shared, or family bonding that happened they didn’t even know was taking place. Let’s face it: children aren’t exactly appreciative of things like being fed – even a home-cooked meal you spent 45 minutes making. But as they get older, they learn appreciation and recognize the effort put in by parents – yes, even a nice meal you spent time making. My kids even began to thank me for dinner! As my oldest two boys moved away from home they certainly gained a new appreciation for the home-cooked meals they once complained about!
There were times like so many families that we struggled finding time to be together, to be truly present with one another. Rushing from one activity to the next and grabbing some McDonald’s in between. So for us, dinner time at home was our time. The meals weren’t anything extravagant but the company around the table was priceless. With our schedules it also allowed the siblings to have some time together. With my kids that didn’t exactly happen voluntarily. And of course there was still the bickering and nonsense at the table but hey we were doing it together!
HOT TIP: When the kids were younger I started using the dinner table gatherings to share our “highs” and “lows” of the day. This is a great way to get the kids talking and give a little glimpse into their world. The high being something good that happened in their day, the low, something that didn’t go well in their day. Of course, at certain ages, they aren’t very in-depth responses. At one point the good/high was “we had Bosco sticks for lunch” or “I don’t have homework” the bad/low, “I didn’t like either lunch choice” or “I have homework”. School lunch seemed to be a highlight conversation topic for a period of time! I eventually had to draw a line “ok guys, highs, and lows, and neither can be about lunch anymore!” Everyone at the table laughed. Now they had to really dig a little deeper and think of actual answers. Sometimes their answers were quite revealing.
These days it’s just me, my teenager and my three-year-old. So with a teenager only home for dinner occasionally, that leaves me and a three-year-old, which also leaves me not cooking as many meals as I used to. With my oldest kids off “adulting”, I often find myself inviting them to do dinner. At 20 and 22 years old a home-cooked meal is always enticing! It’s special when we can all be together, sit down and share in conversation, be part of one another’s lives like old times and for the littlest one to experience it. There’s truly nothing I love more than having all of my kiddos at a table together these days! And when that happens now, it truly fills my heart!
Family meal time has been proven to have wonderful benefits for children. Some benefits include higher self-esteem, giving kids a sense of belonging and being part of something special, within a family. It also allows parents to be role models, showing by example healthy eating habits, eating balanced meals as well as teaching table manners. Hopefully, with any luck, it also instills how to work as a team, when you all clear the table and clean up together! {after all, you did do all the cooking}. From my experience, most importantly, kids gain the benefit of making memories.
In light of this topic, I asked my teenager her thoughts on our past family dinners when her brothers were around. Her response: “Aw, I haven’t thought about those in a while, I miss that.” When I asked why, the response was, “it was just so nice knowing every night we would all be together and talking.” She continued by reminiscing about funny stories and moments made at the dinner table. We shared in some laughs, which included when everyone’s highs were their lunch!
So it may be a pain, they may complain, and you may not be the best cook, but making time to sit down to dinner together is absolutely worth it, they will thank you!!
