I’m not sure exactly when I realized it. One day recently though, it occurred to me that I am responsible for my children’s digital presence. And I’m not entirely comfortable with that.
I think the moment occurred while I was scrolling through my newsfeed, and I overheard my niece say to her mom “Don’t put that on Facebook.” And this simple statement resonated with me. When my kids were babies, I loved nothing more than to share a cute picture of their squishy, messy, baby faces and read all of the comments about how adorable they were.
I think most of us can agree that new moms tend to…how do I say it nicely…overshare. I swear I could have posted a thousand pictures a day. But now, they are not so little. I might be biased but I still think they are equally as cute; however I am realizing that in the near future they are going to want their own social media presence. I’m nervous that I am not protecting my kids enough. What started as a way for me to share all of my babies’ milestones has turned into something different. My kids know what Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat are now, which is weird to me. I have cut back on how much I share. I still post images that are too cute not to, but I make sure to check with my kids first. I stop and think before I just automatically hit the share button. As I begin to navigate my new feelings on this subject, I have found a couple of things that have been helpful. Using Facebook messenger, I have created small groups. I have a “mom group,” where I connect with the moms from my kids school. This group has been amazing! When I can’t make a school event, I can count on my “mom group” to send me pics of my kids with their friends. I even get surprise pics when a mom volunteers in the classroom.
These are such great surprises. I have a “family group”. Here, I am able to overshare all of the cute pics and brag my babies up without feeling I am exposing them to the whole world. We have lots of family members and friends that live far far away from us. I know how much they love seeing pictures of my kids because it helps them stay connected. There are other tricks that I am more comfortable using when I choose to share. I’ve started taking pictures where their faces aren’t showing. Pictures from the back or from afar still allow me to share the fun day we are having without blasting their faces all over the Internet.
I want to be mindful and purposeful with how I share them with the world. As a high school teacher, I see all too well the damaging effects social media can have. I’ve started paying attention to what and how often my friends post about their children, especially those with older kids. I try to take my cues from people who have navigated these waters before me. People who have had their babies grow to be teenagers in a world where there is social media and such a strong digital presence.
Don’t get me wrong, I love when old forgotten videos of my kids pop up in my “memories”. Their sweet little voices that I was sure I wouldn’t forget seem so distant and forever ago. It’s a delicate balance. I will still post some pictures and tighten my social media security settings. I definitely do not have this figured out, but I do know that I am going to make a conscious effort to be mindful of my children’s feelings.
I’d love to hear your opinions on my digital dilemma! What are your thoughts on sharing yours kids on social media?
