Motherhood Isn’t the End. Moms Can Chase Dreams.
When Bug came into my life, I felt like I was ready to be a mother. I thought I was giving up anything I hadn’t done yet, I didn’t care. He was three-years-old, I was 26. I was delighted, jumped in with both feet, and didn’t look back.
After a while, things changed, as things do. While I didn’t love him less, he needed me in different ways. I can’t say he needed me less, just differently. I had been working from home for several years. I had very few adult companions. Despite a husband that loves me dearly, I was lonely. I was ready for more too.
When Bug was 9 years old, I made the decision to go back to school. I have always wanted to pursue an art degree. It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. It was also one of the most freeing. It changed all of our lives in ways that I never expected.
Remember what I said about being shy? I was being dropped into a whole new group of people with a whole different set of expectations. I was terrified and excited and completely out of my depth. That first semester was harder than any other semester, ever.
I had been out of school for nearly 10 years. My classmates were mostly made up of people 15 years younger than me. What I realized was that I wasn’t the only one. I wasn’t the only person trying to carve out a path between the responsibilities of parenthood and my dreams. For the first time since becoming a stay at home mom, I was making friends.
Don’t get me wrong, it was a lot of work. I wasn’t sure I could handle it during my first semester. The workload was intense. I had to relearn to take notes but in changing what I was studying, I learned new ways of learning. By following my dreams, I learned that I could thrive in a learning environment.
This caused a lot of changes at home. Some were good, others not so much. I missed the time I had with my family. We weren’t able to spend as much time just being together. There were fewer home-cooked meals those first two semesters because I was having to learn to cope with a new schedule. I did learn to cope. Meal prep and crock pot meals have had a hand in our success.
I didn’t anticipate the good that could come from me going back to school. My son could see me struggle but he could also see me succeed. For every hour he watched me do my homework, he fought us a little bit less about doing his. It was a miracle when the battle ceased to exist. Eventually, he would see me studying and bring his books to study beside me. We learned that the way they taught him to take notes at school wasn’t working for him but there are other ways. Watching him sitting beside me, head bent over his books, I realized that we weren’t losing time together, it was just changing but so were we.
This experience has been amazing. I have three more years to go. When I think back to my naïve self, when I thought life ended with children, I realize how little I understood. Life doesn’t have to end when we have kids. It is a series of changes. We grow with our children. My dreams have offered my son a unique experience, I wouldn’t give it up for anything.
So ask yourself, what do you dream? What are you waiting for? Dream big.
