Dear Mothers,
As you reflect on the past year I hope you recall some fundamental truths about you as a mom.
First, if you are reading this it means you made it through 2018. Perhaps worn out and sleep deprived but you are on the other side.
Second, you are the most important person in the lives of your children. They may not say it, you may not feel like it, but the often thankless job you are doing is the most important one in their lives.
The third truth, you cannot run on an empty tank. If you coasted into 2019 on fumes there is no time like the present to explore what fills your tank and do those things as often as you can. For me, it’s a strong cup of coffee a good book and if time allows for it, a bath. Filling your tank will give you something to draw from on those long hard stretches of motherhood. Don’t wait until your check engine light is on to refuel.
Now that the new year is underway, you’ve undoubtedly seen your inbox and news feeds full of challenges, goal setting templates, resolutions for losing the “baby weight” and 5 steps to a better you articles. And while none of these are bad {change can be awesome} I would like to encourage you in a different way. Let’s lighten the load this year and give ourselves permission to permanently cross some things off the list.
Here are 3 things we can let go of this year:
- Let go of negative self-talk
Gone is the year of the “it’s not enough” speech. You by definition as a mom are enough! You are strong and courageous; your efforts literally keep other humans alive! How you view yourself matters. Little ears are listening every time you say something negative about yourself. Stop! Chang the narrative, you are amazing and recognizing that fact starts internally.
Every day when you look in the mirror name 3 things that you love about yourself. It may feel uncomfortable at first but sit in that space until it becomes second nature. There is so much to love about you as an individual, and as a mother.
- Let go of comparison
You don’t need to be like your friend, your sister, your neighbor or the celebrity on TV. As Dr. Seuss says “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is “youer than you”. The world needs you exactly as you are! Embrace the things that make you unique, your personal style, your gifts and talents, your worldviews, and your hobbies. And for the love, if you are scrolling Instagram or Pinterest and feeling bad about yourself because you believe your home, your kids, your body or your life doesn’t measure up to the highlight reel you are seeing; do yourself a favor and unfollow that account. If what you are consuming makes you feel less than, stop consuming those things.
Comparison will steal your joy and leave you with a belief that if you could only accomplish that one thing you would be happier. And the truth is it will only fill the gap until the next thing comes along. It isn’t wrong to strive for more or want better for yourself and your family. However, check your motivation; be sure that the thing you want isn’t an effort to keep up with the Jones’.
- Let go of the past
This is a big one dear friend but it’s crucial to forward progress. You are so much more than what has happened before. The past serves a purpose. It teaches us lessons, gives us a compass to guide us to places we would like to revisit and places to steer clear from. Of this you can be certain, you won’t get far driving in reverse.
If you made mistakes in your parenting, your relationships, your finances, whatever it may be now is the time to let it go. Learn from the experience, apologize where needed, forgive yourself for the part you played, forgive others for the part they played and move forward. Live life looking straight ahead!
Hold your head high, keep your tank full, and make your list a little lighter!
If no one has told you yet let me be the first to say you are amazing and the world is better because you are in it.
