I crave a quiet moment. The kids content, no one needs anything, just a minute. Please. My soul aches for it. I know I’m not alone. There are funny memes of moms sneaking into the pantry for a snack, just to eat, alone. The bathroom memes with, even the cat’s paw finding you, under the door.
But the phone is vibrating with alerts and reminders, the dryer is buzzing, and then there’s the “honey, where’s my…?” questions. We forgo sleep for quiet time with our coffee, or sleep in longer to be alone. Even my car rides have become a conference area, a place to return calls, uninterrupted.
I can multitask like it’s my job. But being a pro at this, is it really a good thing? Is it good to never fully turn off? It’s the life of a mom.
But do we ever really get the quiet time to be still, truly still, no calendar, no to-do list, no book, no music, no TV and no phone?
My pastor recently suggested that I find one true, 30 minute session of quiet – ready for it – with out my phone. I’m an extrovert, why did I need to be still? I like people. I hate being bored. I want a minute alone to not be begged for a second snack, a back scratch, but not still.
I tattooed the words “be still” on my arm a while ago to remind me. It whispers to me often. But to actually do it was a whole other feat. I thought “be still” meant simply trusting in God. That’s what the ink in my arm was meant to be.
That is my belief: don’t stress, be still and trust in God’s plan. But to be still, that was something I’ve never done, ever. I had no idea it was going to be such a challenge or even needed for that matter.
I asked, how in the world will I know when it’s been 30 minutes? “Ummm…a watch,” he said! Right! OK, and what if the kids need me? “They won’t!” he promised. Just me and my thoughts…OK. I can do this. Music? Nope! A book? Not that either. My Pastor insisted I was alone with my thoughts just to “see what happens!”
The first few mornings I had the opportunity, I didn’t take the chance. I had to check my notifications, return some emails, check the weather, change the laundry, start dinner. You know, get the mom morning rush fully underway.
Finally, it was time. I slapped on my watch, filled my coffee cup and snuck to the porch. I had the thought of meditation. Then the urge to reach for my phone to look into it. OK, no phone. I tried to focus on the birds chirping. It seemed painful to just sit there. I had things to do. I moved to a new spot on the porch. My mind went back to the email I needed to send to my office and the text to the babysitter. OK, just sit. Be still. I prayed a prayer of thankfulness and ask God to reveal things to me. It worked!
Meditation looks different for everyone. For me, I prayed and talked with God. I had to move my seat a few times. I peeked at my watch a bunch and heard the birds louder than normal. It was good. I was still.
I did it. It was oddly refreshing. And believe it or not, I want to do it again. I was able to reflect on somethings I’ve been thinking about: my lack of contentment. That hit me like a ton of bricks. It hurt, but in a good way. I saw how it’s boiling over to my kiddos, and causing my husband to anger. I’m never just still. We rush, go, hurry, do it, get it, make it, change it, plan it. I saw it. Clearly!
You might get time to be alone, but are you listening to your thoughts? I usually have the radio drowning out my thoughts. I might even drive my next car ride with out a call or the radio. Maybe. You could exercise without your ear buds. Think about it, when was the last time you were just still. Not flipping through Netflix, Instagram, or adding items to your cart. Even reading. I’m guilty. I do it to escape not to be alone with my thoughts.
Depending on your beliefs, what has God or the universe been trying to reveal to you, but you have too much noise and busyness to hear it?
OK, maybe read a blog, a good one. But then…be still.
OK, maybe read a blog, a good one. But then…be still.
