The Best Surprise: Top 5 Reasons to Keep Gender a Secret

Mid-Michigan Moms is thrilled to partner with McLaren Lapeer Region and McLaren Flint to bring you Navigating Your Pregnancy, an editorial series event. In this installment of our Editorial Series Collection, McLaren, and the#MidMichiganMoms team share fifteen different posts addressing all aspects of life as a pregnant woman. From humor to stories of perseverance, no topic is left off the table. Tune in, learn, share, and join the conversation!

Surprises. We don’t seem to get many. You plan your day, where you’re going to college, your wedding. There are so many HUGE events in your life you plan. Everything perfectly laid out down to the last detail, and it would only make sense to follow suit when it comes time for the life-changing moment of having a baby, right? In this case, I vote no – it is literally the BEST surprise of your life.

I know. I know you’re only surprised once, so why not have the gender surprise at 20 weeks {and sometimes even earlier now} instead of 40ish?

gender surprise

Top 5 Reasons {and responses} to Keep Gender a Secret:

5. The Nursery – Here we circle back to that whole planning thing. Gender-neutral! Not knowing takes one more thing off the plate of that expectant mommas-to-be. No spending countless hours perfectly decorating a room, that to be honest, the baby isn’t going to be in all that much. I felt such a weight lifted off my shoulders with my white nursery {white walls, THE HORROR!}, with a crib, rocker, changing, table, and a shelf full of books. It left me more time to focus on who will be living in that room, as opposed to the material items filling it. Plus, all those late nights nursing make for the perfect time to online shop once the baby is here!

gender surprise

4. Baby Shower & Gear – You know exactly what I am talking about. Mom-to-be is having a girl and everything… I mean EVERYTHING, is pink! The outfits, the blankets, the car seat, the stroller – you name it, it is pink. Mom is having a boy. There’s soccer balls, baseballs, footballs and blue, blue, and more blue. Guess what? All that stuff is awesome, but say parents decide to have another baby and it just so happens to be a different gender? I mean, it’s not really that big of a deal, but it is nice to have a black stroller, a gray bouncer, and some green blankets already in stock when that second child arrives. For me, it was a bit easier because I did not receive as many outfits as shower gifts {which I still would be thankful for}, but I received more necessity items instead.

3Gender Reveal – The new hot event! Gather all your friends and family to guess, and cheer when you finally reveal what that baby is! What about those who hope so much that your mother is finally going to have a granddaughter or that you would be just the best momma to a boy? I know everyone is excited, but there are also those tales of people who cried or were disappointed because they just had a feeling it was the opposite. Let me tell you when that doctor hands you that baby, regardless of its gender,  you are just so thrilled to be in that moment. I think it also keeps people’s opinions at bay – here is our child, and it’s a ______. That is that.

2. Names – I have no idea why, but this part of being pregnant drives me bananas. Everyone LOVES to suggest names for baby – you should name him after their uncle, or I love this name, or the infamous “oh, that’s different.” Unknown gender seems to derail this conversation. There are no suggesting boys names for hours because guess what, it could be a girl. My husband and I chose to keep the names we picked last pregnancy a secret, and we are doing the same this time around. It’s a lot more pleasant to show someone your baby and say, “meet so and so,” when the name has already been given to this new person.

gender surprise

1. The Surprise – Did I mention it’s the best in your whole life? There was no planning involved, nothing anyone else could do that could affect the outcome. I still remember how it took my husband a good minute or so to finally respond to my doctor’s question of “What is it, Dad?” – a boy, a beautiful baby boy. The first question he was asked as a parent was to reveal he had a son. So many people to introduce him to, who loved him {regardless of the gender} because he was finally here.

They say the best things in life are worth waiting for – I definitely believe this is one of them.

Did you wait to find out the gender of your baby, or was it a surprise? 

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To read more from our 2020 editorial series, ‘Navigating Your Pregnancy’, click here.


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Hi! I'm Stephanie co-found and co-owner of Mid-Michigan Moms. I'm a working mom of three wild babes and one naughty dog. I love everything about living in Michigan - that means lakes in the summer and snow in the winter. When I'm not spending time outdoors with my family (or working) I enjoy hosting, Michigan State football + basketball, true crime TV + pop culture documentaries, trips to Target, shopping the N Sale, and filling up my calendar with adventures! I honored to be a part of this amazing community here at Mid-Michigan Moms, and am so excited to share and learn along with you in this journey called motherhood!