Pregnant During a Pandemic: My Terrifying Second Pregnancy

Mid-Michigan Moms is thrilled to partner with McLaren Lapeer Region and McLaren Flint to bring you Navigating Your Pregnancy, an editorial series event. In this installment of our Editorial Series Collection, McLaren, and the #MidMichiganMoms team share fifteen different posts addressing all aspects of life as a pregnant woman. From humor to stories of perseverance, no topic is left off the table. Tune in, learn, share, and join the conversation!

First of all, anytime you have a baby is terrifying. But I feel like having a second baby is even more frightening, especially during a pandemic.

There was about a zero percent chance that I could have predicted that Michigan would be considered an epicenter of the COVID-19 pandemic when we found out we were expecting our second baby in the summer of 2019. Honestly, up until recently, my pregnancy has been great and reasonably uneventful, and our son is super excited to meet his brother. But now, I am just kind of wishing that I could keep this little babe safe inside until this pandemic blows over.

As I said earlier, having a second baby is terrifying itself. There are so many things people don’t really talk about the second time around. Like, how do you adjust to having another human in your home? What if my toddler wants to send him back? What if I don’t connect to this baby as well as I did my first? What if the post-partum period is harder than I remember? What are we going to do with our toddler when we do go into labor? 

Not only do I think about those bigger questions every day, but there are also some minor less essential things like, do I have enough long sleeve newborn clothes? Where did I put the pack-n-play sheets? And then on top of all of those questions, I have the normal every pregnancy questions too. Is the baby kicking, or was that gas moving? Was that a contraction or my imagination? Do I seriously have to pee again?!

I am telling you my list is endless. No one told me I would have the same anxieties with my second that I did my first. {Can we talk about that more? Thanks, that would be great.}

However, I wish what I listed above were the only questions that I had right now, they would make things so much easier. There are so many unknowns during this pandemic. Now, I am asking myself if I should even leave my house to do a grocery pickup. I am kicking myself for not buying newborn diapers soon enough – because they are seriously impossible to find right now. I am terrified that by the time we go into labor that my support person {my husband} won’t be able to be in the room with us. What if I have to do this alone? That’s terrifying. I give all the women who do so much credit – you guys are heroes.

What makes me feel a little better is that I know I am far from alone in feeling this way.

I just wanted to tell others that I see you. I am you. Though this period of pandemic life is tough, I know we will pull through.

These are the things I try to remind myself every day with all the crazy going on in the world:

1. It will get better – who knows when but, have faith. The time will come when we don’t have to Clorox wipe all of the groceries coming into our homes.
2. The doctors know what’s best – for you, your baby, your health, and potentially the health of your family. Yeah, it would be heartbreaking if my husband had to miss the birth of his son. Still, if it kept him healthy and therefore keeping our family healthy during this pandemic, I could maybe eventually get over being alone during labor. Realistically, I know this is probably unlikely for me because I live in a fairly rural area, and my doctors reassured me that he would be fine to be in the room but just not be able to leave. We will be bringing ALL of the snacks with us!
3. Enjoy the quarantine time – being home with young kids or, in my case, a toddler full time and working from home is extremely exhausting. I have to preface every phone call with “If you hear screaming in the background, just ignore it.” This is even harder since my husband is a farmer and is essential to providing milk to our markets. What this boils down to is, these will be the last few weeks that there will just be the three of us in our house. I am doing everything I can every day to not take that for granted and enjoy every single moment.
4. Try not to panic – with all the negative news and media, it is SO hard not to read everything and think the absolute worst. Being pregnant heightens those fears because it’s not just about you anymore. But seriously, try to not panic and take a deep breath.
5. Your people are still there – seriously, they didn’t fall off the face of the earth because you can’t see them in person. Call your friends and family, face-time, zoom, whatever works. Your support system is still intact; it’s just a little less personal and in your face. It doesn’t make it any less special or meaningful.

This new stage of life is supposed to be beautiful and fun, joyful, and maybe even a little scary, too. I am doing everything I can to not let the current pandemic steal my happiness. Though it is so hard not to feel robbed that my son, immediate family, and friends won’t be able to meet my newborn right away.

I am just taking it day by day and enjoying the blessing that we have been given. I hope you are too.