The teenage years… they were much different for us mothers, but still the same. The teenage years are a flurry of emotions, bodily changes, relationships, school, and a host of other noise. We can all remember having those “teenage moments” where we made a big deal about something that was, in reality, not a big deal. It’s easy for us to see that now, but our teenagers are in that fog of emotions right now.
As moms, we need to alter our expectations and remember that we too were that teenager lost in emotions. You and your teenager will experience emotional rollercoasters, but never forget that there is a light at the end of the tunnel – the unbreakable bond between mother and child. Parenting can be tough, or awkward, at times. You can almost feel helpless! But rest assured, this too shall pass.
Give Them Space
Giving space is one of the hardest things to do. As a mom, you want to be as involved as possible when it comes to your teenager’s life. On the contrary, teenagers tend to “push back” and don’t want you to be too involved. This is normal and should be respected. Teens are at a point in their lives where they’re trying to figure out who they are, who they want to be, and where they belong. Giving your teen space to grow into who they want to be may prove to be difficult {internally} as a parent. To combat these internal worries, let your child know that you love them and you’re there to talk about anything they want to talk about or need.
Trust Builder: Responsibility
One of the best ways to build trust is to off-load responsibilities. Most teenagers are ready to “grow up.” To help them feel “grown-up,” give them adult-like responsibilities. Doing this will help them build foundational skills, inherently giving them a sense of accomplishment and freedom. A good way to start this is to show them how to fix simple things around the house, how to tell when it’s time to call a repair service or ask for home decor recommendations. It’s all about starting with small ideas and having them find the things they enjoy helping out with.
Avoid Unattainable Expectations
Have you ever thought that your teen may be walking on eggshells? He or she may feel like you’re expecting perfection from them, and this may be causing them anxiety. The best way to address this is head-on. Have a talk with them, assuring that you only want the best for them and will support them in regards to who they want to be.
Active Listening
Your teen may not want to talk that often. Most of the time, they’ll probably just keep to themselves. But when they want someone to talk to, they might turn to you. When this happens, you need to practice active listening. This will allow you to stay engaged in the conversation your child is having with you. It will also enable you to give advice {where it’s warranted} and give them the confidence to truly “open up” about how they are feeling.
The teenage years are very difficult. It’s where people try to find themselves and who they want to be. Being there as a parent is important, but make sure that you aren’t overbearing. Give them the confidence to be themselves, and act as bumpers at a bowling alley would; catch them if they truly get off-track.
