Planning, Follow-Through Help Overcome Tantrums  

It may comfort parents of tantrum-throwing toddlers to know that meltdowns are normal, and there are ways to handle them.

Tantrums often reflect the frustration a child feels because of her lack of language to say what’s bothering her. As children get older and learn how to express emotions or need like being tired, hungry, frustrated, or angry, their need to act out usually diminishes.

“The key is to be consistent,” says Dr. Alice Madani, a pediatrician with McLaren Lapeer Region. “Children thrive with a regular schedule, and with predictable behavior from their parents.”

Her tips:

• Praise children when they behave.
• When possible, give children choices that let them exert some control—will they wear the red shirt or the blue shirt?
• Packing snacks and letting kids bring along favorite toys can prevent meltdowns during lengthy errands or unexpected delays.
• Whenever possible, keep forbidden objects out of sight.
• Use the toddler’s short attention span to your advantage by simply distracting him from a tantrum-inducting object or behavior. There’s no need for long explanations.
• If a child often acts up in restaurants, choose places with faster service.

When a tantrum occurs, Dr. Madani suggests tailoring your reaction to the situation. Above all, keep calm to keep the episode from escalating.

If a child is hungry or tired, a snack or nap is in order. But if the meltdown is for gaining attention, ignoring the child is a good idea. It teaches him that bad behavior won’t get him what he wants.

A timeout suitable for the child’s age—generally one minute for every year—gives him time to calm down. Once he does, reassure him that he’s still loved.

If the tantrum was in reaction to your child not wanting to do something, she must do it after calming down.

“Above all, we need to keep children safe,” says Dr. Madani. “If that means removing him from a situation where he’s hitting another child or skipping that one more errand because your toddler is cranky, then so be it.”

Share your worst/favorite tantrum story with us. Trust us, you’re not alone!