A few months ago, my toddler started ripping off his diaper… all day long. Every time a drop of urine escaped, it was gone. Suddenly, he was going through about 10 diapers a day. That’s on TOP of me also changing the roughly one million diapers a day my two-month-old was producing. It felt like a majority of my waking hours were spent diapering one butt or another. There was no question about it – it was time to potty train.
Potty training went as expected and in a few weeks, my son was reliably using the potty chair independently. While I no longer had the expense or trouble of two kids in diapers, a new era of parenting was ushered in, one that I loathe: the “empty-the-potty-chair” stage.
I went from being a diaper slave to being a chambermaid.
When our oldest daughter learned how to use the potty, she would diligently sit on her little chair and holler, “Mama! Wipe my butt!” when she was finished. I always knew when the potty chair had to be emptied. My son is a totally different story. Sneaky, stubborn, and supremely independent, he never tells us when he uses the potty, leaving us to make stinky discoveries on the daily. The no-diaper thing has its trade-offs!
Recently, after discovering a rancid potty chair that had been sitting for the better part of the day un-emptied, I donned my rubber gloves, dumped out the offending sludge, and started scrubbing at a film of something unmentionable on the bowl of the potty. A quick rinse and wipe with soap and water did nothing, so I busted out the big guns and sprayed it with bleach cleaner, hoping the scud on the bottom would easily melt away. After multiple attempts, it was obvious that even strong cleaners were not going to quickly get this potty back to normal. I sighed and started scrubbing. After a couple of minutes, I saw a bit of progress. I rolled my sleeves up, as it was obvious that this mess was going nowhere without significant elbow grease.
After 10 minutes of scrubbing, I was surprised – the potty looked good as new! I jokingly told my husband it was clean enough to eat out of {though I am relieved he didn’t take me up on that sentiment!}. While scrubbing, I had plenty of time to think and it came to me that the hard work of scrubbing the potty chair clean was a decent metaphor for motherhood.
So many times when a problem or obstacle arises with my kids – be it discipline, potty training, getting them to sit quietly in church, fall asleep independently, or try new foods – I want a quick fix. I want to rinse it with soap and water and be on my way. I want Google to tell me this one trick or tip or thing I can buy on Amazon that will fix my issue and get us all back to harmonious family life.
However, so many aspects of parenting have no quick fix. There’s no magic bullet or simple bleach spray that will melt the problems away that we encounter every day as moms. When faced with that reality, I normally want to just quit. A lot of times, when things are in really tough shape – be it a $20 potty chair or an issue with my kids – I’m tempted to throw it aside or away instead of putting in the hard work to get things right again.
I don’t want to scrub. I don’t like doing hard work.
But our kids are worth it.
We are mothers and motherhood ain’t always easy. Sometimes our job truly is all joy and dandelion bouquets and milky baby laughs and chubby-legged toddlers dancing in the sunshine, but sometimes it’s disgusting potty chairs, frightening medical issues, or tantrums that drain every ounce of patience from your marrow. Sometimes it’s a slog. Sometimes you have to scrub, scrub, scrub at the problem you are facing for what feels like an eternity. You have to do the hard things day in and day out… things like being consistent with discipline, not shying away from hard conversations, and saying “no” to your kids {or yourself!} when it would be far easier to say “yes.”
These precious little people we live with are worth the scrub. Their mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health is worth all the time and effort we put into them. Just because we can’t solve all of their problems in 5-10 minutes doesn’t mean things are hopeless and we should just toss this all aside and quit trying. Some things in our lives as mothers will only be solved with our elbow grease, by showing up for our kids day in and day out.
It can feel thankless. It can feel gross and pointless and distressing. Even if we don’t get to see the results on this day, in this month, or even this year, our efforts are not in vain. Daily, you are getting to make an impact on people entrusted to your care who will grow up to be the future of this world. The short-term pain of “scrubbing” now, when they’re little, will be completely eclipsed by the long-term satisfaction of seeing our beloved kids grown into well-adjusted, independent adults. It’s a joy that I can’t wait to comprehend. It’ll be even better than a sparkling clean potty chair!
So, roll up your sleeves, mama – and keep scrubbing! Our kids are worth it.
