I know I’m not the only mom who struggles with the yelling problem. The losing-your-mind problem. Or the I’m-finally-at-the-end-of-my-rope-and-I-snap problem.
And I believe that, like me, if you have looked into any way to control yourself and tame the Mommy Monster inside, you have probably heard of “centering.” It seems to be a very zen type of thing to do, but everyone recommends it.
I propose a new kind of centering: mommy centering.
There are three easy steps to my method, which admittedly is still a work in progress. As am I.
Step One: Breathe.
I know. Daniel Tiger recommends it, yoga recommends it, and 10 out of 10 doctors recommend it. Just take a deep breath. It gives you a moment to calm down.
Step Two: Really look at your child.
Sometimes {or most of the time}, I get so wrapped up in the day to day craziness that I begin to view my children as a duty or an annoyance instead of what they are: a miraculous gift that I love more than anything.
So when I think I might erupt, I try to really look at them. To see what amazing people they are. With my youngest, I try to notice how small she still is and remember I’m so grateful that though time is flying by, she’s still small.
I try to remember their great qualities and not just the parts that I’m annoyed with in that moment. I also try to see myself and my husband in them. This breaks the cycle of frustration.
Step Three: Physical contact.
I remember from when I was breastfeeding that physical, skin-to-skin contact releases oxytocin. And since at least one of my children’s main love language is physical touch, I know that it is inexpressibly important.
I usually start with reaching out hold his hand or stop for a quick snuggle. We both benefit from the release of oxytocin. It isn’t magic or instantaneous, but every little thing helps.
Step Four: Back to Being Mom
When you’re in the thick of momming, it isn’t easy to stop and think, “Hey, I could really use a moment to center myself so I can start over.” But on those rare occasions that the thought does occur to me, it has worked wonders.
Try it and tell me how it goes! What do you to do calm down when things escalate?
