I always knew I wanted just two kids. I grew up with a brother who was fifteen months older than I was and I wanted that for my future children: a close-in-age sibling so they could grow up together and be best friends.
I was 31 when I had my first child, and 33 with my second. A boy and a girl. Two kids. MY perfect family.
Everyone started asking, “when are you going to have another one?” I’d always say, “two is enough, I don’t know how people with more than two kids do it!”
I don’t want any more children. Period.
Let’s be honest. Being a parent is SO fulfilling and full of love and excitement, but it’s also exhausting and stressful and after my second child, my patience didn’t get any better so I could never see myself with a third child. I would be ripping my hair out! {I give props to all the single parents and those with more than two kids, it definitely takes patience and a strong-willed person!}
Being Pregnant isn’t for everyone
On top of the patience issue, both of my pregnancies were not that great: morning sickness, muscle, and joint pain so bad it hurt to move most days {especially with my second}. Both births were over 24 hours and both were two hours of pushing. As well as many hiccups along the way for both. I absolutely love my Mom, but she always told me “The second baby will just slip right out, you’ll see!” Let’s just say I had a few choice words with her when she came to the hospital because that was definitely not the case. The only good experience was the sweet, angelic reward at the end where my beautiful babies were born. I felt like a rock star, fell in love, and cried like a baby. But, as selfish as it may seem, I don’t want to put my body through that again.
Planning for the future
One of my best friends told me, when she had her second child, that she was “excited to start planning life” with her own family of four now. I totally understand what she’s saying. My second is only six months old but I’m already dreaming of saving up for Disney World and going on mini-vacations with two adults and two children and won’t have to adjust anything. I won’t have to plan on getting pregnant or being pregnant around major weddings, parties, or events. AND I won’t have to be the DD anymore and can relax and enjoy a wedding or two.
Oh, Hey Husband!
I want to date my husband again. I’m a very nervous person and only trust my kids with certain people. So we’ve only been away overnight a couple of times. I cannot wait to have adult getaways more often once the kids are older. Date nights like we had before we had kids – you know, staying up past ten, having day drinks, going out to dinner without having to worry about your kids screaming their faces off, that sort of night out. Yes, my children are my world but my husband and I need some time away and alone in order to stay sane and re-energize ourselves so we don’t burn out or take things out on each other. In my opinion, this will make us stronger at parenting together.
Pre-Baby Body
Before I met my husband I was very fit, I always joke that he was the reason I gained weight, even before having kids {like many other wives tell their husband, I’m sure.} Now that I know I’m done having children, I can get back to being motivated to find that pre-husband and pre-children body and work on my physical and mental self-care. It probably won’t be the body I remember, but I can’t wait to feel better in my skin and to start working on myself again. Complete with stretch marks and all.
I sometimes refer to our four-person family now as a “beautiful chaos”. It’s super chaotic and stressful some days but it’s also so beautiful and everything I’ve always hoped for in a family. My son makes my heart melt when he says “Mommy, I love you, you’re my best friend,” and my daughter’s sweet smirks make me fall in love every single time.
I love my life and can’t wait to watch my two kids grow, but I also can’t wait for some adult normalcy and sleeping in… maybe in 15 years or so.
